Crossed Giblets of Death: The SJ Thanksgiving Family Therapy Thread

Dude, they always decide how much pie we can have, if you get my drift.

 

No Marcee... just Mom taking over the kitchen...
Your posts do make me laugh...

 

Usually when you send family members out to be dealt with by people with guns, Paulie Walnuts is involved.

 

Doorbell.

Doorbell? Why am I hearing the doorbell? No guests expected for at least a couple of hours, depending on Marcee's pants. Who is ringing my doorbell??

'Hello darling, we came a little early, the Rubenstein's were headed this way so they picked us up, she is really so irritating, could not stop talking about that ridiculous Hyatt, I told her we had the most marvelous night at our motel, what with all the excitement over the flaming blanket....so I thought you could use some help, what can I do dear?

I am flummoxed. I am watching football. Boom is out for a run. Whatever I need right now, it is not help from my mother.

'Sweetheart, look at you, you look so thin, is everything okay? Do you eat? Your bosom seems smaller, look Lou, is her bosom smaller? Does your Boom like it that way? I think it's so wonderful how you girls stay in shape, I have always stayed in shape, I have an excellent metabolism, I wonder if you have my metabolism...where should I put the salad?

'Oh, football, how clever of you to make dinner later so you can finish your football game! Who is playing dear, the Porpoises? How adorable, those outfits remind me of Lois Ackerman's living room in Boca, all that teal, you really have to be a confident person to decorate in teal, Lois just botoxed her forehead, what a mess, the left eyebrow is literally touching her hairline, have you ever botoxed, dear? It could really help with those frown lines, you shouldn't frown so much dear, at your age....What is Marcee bringing?"

 

21 is making me very happy that my thanksgiving dinner consisted of me, another sports writer, the news reporter and a photog at the Golden Corral. Just sad, and shocking, how many families were there, though.

Although, that hasn't stopped my mother from calling twice (It's her first Thanksgiving away from her darling Appgrad and is just so sad) and the ex-girlfriend leaving a facebook wall message that she is thankful for me. Hopefully the kinda-sorta girlfriend doesn't check on my wall anytime in the next month. Or notice that I am going away for the weekend with the ex-girlfriend.

Happy Holidays.

 

Whoa, pardner. Back up.

You're WHAT?

 

Wife's nephew: "How come your cat doesn't run away from me this year?"

Me: "The cat is heavily drugged."

 

Antacid is available for these problems.

 

I ended up having to work, although hopefully not too late.
The GF is recovering from the chicken pox and just dropped me off a plate of food.

 

Young Rosebud is coming around. She even ate some soup.

Even so, ring bologna and rice just didn't seem to cut it for supper tonight. :-\