Cubs file for Ch. 11 bankruptcy

Sam Mills 51 · Oct 14, 2009

lono said:

The practical effect of Cubs bankruptcy:

Right-handed hitters will be furloughed on even-numbered Tuesdays, lefties on odd-numbered Tuesdays.

The bullpen will be shrunk by 30 percent and renamed "shared help desk."

On their off days, starting pitchers will be asked to sell ticket packages over the phone.

Middle of the lineup asked to "swing smarter, not harder."

Four All-Stars on starting roster to be replaced by AAA players in a cost-saving measure.

Utility infielders will rotate duty cleaning locker room.

Guaranteed multi-year contracts out; potluck Fridays in!

Starting pitchers will have to bring their own ice for cooling arms after the games.

Every Sunday, team will use only three infielders and two outfielders. Furloughed players will not be paid for the day.

Players required to participate in weekly meet 'n' greet with Wrigley Field advertisers.

BLOGS!

Each player will be required to "friend" at least 10 new people per week.

Cost-saving will be shifted for management bonuses, which shall be based solely on economics, not on-field performance.
Click to expand...

-Pitchers will be urged to "work smarter, not harder." Get the batters to ground out. None of this trying to strike out anyone. That requires too many pitches and use of too many arms.

(Stellar work here, lono.)

old_tony · Oct 14, 2009

lono said:

The practical effect of Cubs bankruptcy:

Right-handed hitters will be furloughed on even-numbered Tuesdays, lefties on odd-numbered Tuesdays.

The bullpen will be shrunk by 30 percent and renamed "shared help desk."

On their off days, starting pitchers will be asked to sell ticket packages over the phone.

Middle of the lineup asked to "swing smarter, not harder."

Four All-Stars on starting roster to be replaced by AAA players in a cost-saving measure.

Utility infielders will rotate duty cleaning locker room.

Guaranteed multi-year contracts out; potluck Fridays in!

Starting pitchers will have to bring their own ice for cooling arms after the games.

Every Sunday, team will use only three infielders and two outfielders. Furloughed players will not be paid for the day.

Players required to participate in weekly meet 'n' greet with Wrigley Field advertisers.

BLOGS!

Each player will be required to "friend" at least 10 new people per week.

Cost-saving will be shifted for management bonuses, which shall be based solely on economics, not on-field performance.
Click to expand...

Will calls to the bullpen be answered by a guy in India that you can't understand?

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Cubs file for Ch. 11 bankruptcy

Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

old_tony Well-Known Member

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Cubs file for Ch. 11 bankruptcy

Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

old_tony Well-Known Member

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