Dane Cook, you're not funny

After my divorce my oldest kid said, “I’m only asking one thing of you: Please don’t end up with someone younger than me.” So my cutoff age difference was 26 years. Predictably, it was never really a worry.

 

“Oh yeah, your daughter’s gonna love it.”

 

Except with Brooks, it might be even more gross. She was in her 20s and working as his research assistant when they met. I'm sure there's a cute story about how she was fact-checking his latest screed on how ... is ruining America and their eyes slowly met but I don't want to hear it. He's more than old enough to be her father and was in a position of enormous power and influence over her. Like I said, gross.

 

That, sir, was the perfect get for this. And we present this offering for the Gross Police ...

 

"I thought this was a home makeover show."
"In a way, it is."

Genius

 

No better 1-2 punch in comedy than Fey and Poehler.

 

I, for one, like freaking my wife out by saying when she was in sixth grade I was in first grade.

And reminding her the only thing I remember from the 80s was a vague memory of Ernest Byner fumbling and my dad screaming like the President had been shot again.

(Ever since Bandit on Bluey talked about the 80s, my four-year old son is obsessed with asking what certain things were like in the 80s. I look at my wife and say, “Yeah, what were things like in the 80s?” before I receive a secret middle finger.)