Dating a co-worker

I've worked with co-workers who've hooked up and gotten married, and others that broke up. I think its best if there is some separation in duties so the relationship doesn't interfere with work and vice-versa.

 

I ought to have more to add to this.

I'm in a two-newspaper marriage and it helps that I'm in sports and she's not.

(We met at the college paper many, many moons ago.)

Caution is wisely advised -- but hell, that's good advice for any budding relationship, no matter the details.

 

All great success stories. But it goes the other way too.

Back when I went crazy and worked news for a year and a half, I dated a fellow news designer/copy editor. We dated for seven months, and I knew it wasn't going to work after about four months, but I feared breaking up with her because of how it would be in the newsroom. I was job hunting like crazy, but I couldn't find anything I really wanted to do until a job in my hometown showed potential of hiring me. But about three months before I got the job, we had a big blowup and broke up. The next three months were the worst three months of my life. I was working with somebody who would start crying randomly at her desk if I uttered a word. The ME, who had the hots for her, treated me like shit for three months. I spent a lot of time after work drinking off the stress. The big key is to take it slowly. If it doesn't work out, you need to find out if you both can handle working in the same building after a breakup. If I had taken my time to get to know her more, I would have realized what life would have been like had we broken up. Instead, I jumped right into the relationship and then realized halfway through that a breakup would be catastrophic. And I had no idea how much I was lowballing it.

 

I'd advise against it, but it's something of a dilemma in any line of work, because the people we spend the majority of our waking hours with are coworkers. It's only natural that relationships would develop.

 

I have done this three times (which may come as a surprise to one person who's posted on this thread and another who frequents this establishment, although I may have told them):

1. A co-worker in the newsroom, although she was news-side. We kept it super secret, didn't tell anybody (which I think is important in a newsroom situation). She dumped me the day after Christmas, about a month after we started dating when she decided she wanted to pick up with a cross-country boyfriend she'd broken up with for long-distance relationship reasons. I basically didn't talk to her again and was super uncomfortable whenever she was around. It was awkward trying to avoid her with shared friends, but she stayed away from my favorite haunt so it was OK. She moved away less than a year later an is married to that guy, now, so I guess that's good.

2. A co-worker in the newsroom, although she was a designer. Again, we were super secret. It lasted a month. Not a big deal because it just wasn't working, and we now sit about 10 feet apart from each other and get along fine.

3. A co-worker in advertising. We actually met through mutual friends from outside the paper. She's scared of the newsroom; I was scared of coming across as chazp with all the pretty girls in advertising, so we never met at work. We're getting married Sept. 8. We chat two or three times during the day at work. I visit her and consider it a good mental health break. If the smokers get 20 breaks a day, I don't worry about mine.

Like all relationships, there are grizzly horror stories and fairytale endings. Be smart about what you do and where you do it. Understand the repercussions if it fails. The heart wants what it wants.

 

Yeah, but did she give you a present first?

 

or did you give her the 'dick in a box' present?

 

I've "dated" coworkers throughout my career and never had a negative, unless you consider marriage negative.

My wife and I were in different departments so it never really got in the way.

Prior to that, I hooked up with a lot of coworkers, some who sat next to me in my department. The key was we were friends ahead of time and neither of us were looking for a relationship.

We're in such a nomadic profession that it's always seems better to hook up with somebody I know and work with and will understand me. Definitely better than dating some girl who wants to know what the hell I'm doing all day.

Go for it.

 

i can't believe what i'm reading

i did it several times and so did just about every coworker i've had at every stop

if you meet somebody you like being around, just go with it

when it ends, if it ends, act like freaking adults

 

My experience with this did not end well.

 

Don't ask, don't tell...t_b_f

 

Roger.