Dealing with creepy co-workers

Jeez, KG, you could've just told me you didn't like me that way.

 

I hate to say this, because this is absolutely his fault, but if you haven't directly told him to back off, you should do so before filing a complaint. Otherwise, he can just play dumb and say you never said a word to him about a problem.

I'm sure I don't have to suggest that you do this in the office with others around, for safety reasons. Then go to HR or your boss and explain the situation so it is on record that he has been making you uncomfortable and that you have asked him to stop. Get those witnesses to come with you and back you up.

You could file the complaint first, but if you haven't actually said anything to him, it may be hard for HR to do anything about it. My guess is, the most that would happen then is somebody taking him aside and telling him to cut it out. I'm not sure that is going to stop him.

Best of luck and sorry to hear that you are stuck dealing with this creep.

 

Ask him if that pesky rash has finally healed. Make sure lots of co-workers are around.

Or you could ask him how the therapy is working with his "problem" and then tell him he's probably not the only premature ejaculator in your town.

 

Just ask the guy what's going on, if he needs anything or if you can help him with something, but be cool about it so he won't overreact.

Maybe he thinks you've got something to do with his ex-wife giving him the boot and he's got a beef with you. You never know until you ask.

And OOP is right. You've got to go through the chain of command. The first question HR will ask is if you talked to him about the problem.

 

I have politely told him about the personal space thing, which didn't work too well. Then I jokingly (to keep it friendly) mentioned the hulahoop area of personal space idea. That worked for a week or so, but since his wife kicked him out, he's back to the old ways X 3.

It's not even the friendly flirting he does that bothers me, it's the staring at me all the time that is totally creeping me out. I'm sure I hope he's totally harmless, but I just don't want to take any chances with this gut feeling I have that is telling me to watch out for him. At the same time, I don't want my saying something to make the situation more uncomfortable than it already is.

 

You need to treat these guys rough. If anything, get close with his ex and get some secrets of his from her. Then matter-of-factly talk about them in the office.

"Hey I hear pencildick looks good in lingerie ..."

 

"I don't feel like he has done anything that would be worthy of making an official complaint with the company about him (yet), but I feel like I have to say something to someone to get him to back off."

I do. He has crossed the line of sexual harassment.

Perhaps a quick little chat from his supervisor will cool his jets. If not, at least his boss is aware of it. Don't wait until he does something terrible.

 

Not necessary. The creep has already crossed the line.

Nobody should be forced to tell a guy to "back off". If the little bastard can't take the hint, it's time to get management involved.

 

You HAVE to be comfortable at work. HAVE to. That's why we have sexual harassment laws. Just do whatever you have to do to be comfortable at work in the long-term.

That's such a shitty situation. Good luck.

 

Definitely agree with this.

 

And they'll have it resolved in 30 minutes ... with an apology to boot!

 

Shitty situation all around. IN NO WAY am I making an excuse for this dude, but sometimes men just don't get the concept of personal space and all that stuff. Especially the socially inept kind. (I can fall into that category sometimes, though I'm pretty sure I'm not tres tres tres creepy.)

Good luck, KG.