Dear dimwit on the phone

Our state's coaches association puts out a book every year with most of its members' home phone numbers, office numbers and school information. It's not 100 percent complete (probably around 90 percent) and can get out of date quickly, but it's an invaluable resource. Definitely worth checking if everyone's respective state has something similar.

 

An oldie, but a goodie ... from last summer, after we ran a photo and some info about a kid attending some "prestigious" football camp. The following was his mother's reply:

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I am writing to let you know how very disappointed I was in your CAPTION on my sons big accomplishment. Nowhere in your CAPTION did you mention that HE was selected by the previously attached list of coaches from the NFL to attend TOP GUN camp. Yes he did attend the camp in Kent and Medina but the BIG deal was that he was selected for TOP GUN from all of the kids at those camps. How many other kids from this area have had such an honor. I feel that you down graded this major accomplishment to KID GOES TO CAMP. Big Whoopie!! I am also disappointed in the fact that as a sports reporter that you were not familiar with this enough to know the significance. My son works very hard to get where he is in all respects none of which were mentioned. This was a horrible CAPTION. I was hoping for an article to let every one out there know that with hard work you can reach your dreams, but I guess that point must have been missed. Well thanks for nothing. He will enjoy himself at TOP GUN on JUly 21,22,and 23 in VA and only those that are close to him will ever know. Now I understand why your reader census is down.

***

And then, after explaining how and why we treated the subject matter as we did (and not with a front-page story and color photo), this arrived:

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A shorter caption stating that HE was the one selected to TOP GUN would have been better. That was the pertinent info. You never mentioned that!!! And that info was provided three times, on the phone twice and in the info I sent you via email. I understand the space limitations but you missed the whole point of the picture and article. Maybe an article on how hard work can get you places would be a better read than LeBron lets Cleveland down and Tiger has to pay lots of money for cheating. That is old news. Thanks for the reply, maybe you will run his true story when he wins a SuperBowl.

***

Of course, when I asked the kid's high school coach about him, I could picture him rolling his eyes. The upshot? He might win a Super Bowl some day, but first he's going to have to win a starting spot on his high school team. He hasn't yet, but maybe this will be the year.

 

BUT HE WORKS SO HARD!!!!!!!

 

Please tell me his name is Jimmy.

 

I did that. That's how I was able to write the brief.

But, seriously, press release needs to have that information.

This one at least had the date and time.

 

It would be better if his name was Jimmy Little.

 

I kid you not ... he is a James.

 

Well, we certainly know who approves.

 

That's hilarious.

 

If it's not, I hear that Google thing is pretty good ...

 

I TELL YOU! IT'S A C-O-N-SPIRACY!

 

YOU GONE GET GOT!