Dear dimwit on the phone

"only" 80pt...you better make that a hammerhed!

 

Doing volleyball previews today and had to leave a message the old-fashioned way with a person on the other end. So I give her my number, my name, title, etc., and the lady of the other end responds with "So, you'd like her to call you back?"

Um, yes, that's why I'm calling in the first place. I added that I'd need to hear back by the end of the week for our preview deadline.

 

I got a call yesterday about two local residents who were murdered... 20 years ago. Apparently the police swept it all under the rug, but this woman knows all about it. Maybe she read your paper before she called mine?

 

To the a-hole who commented on my juco game story with "why haven't we seen any mention of the team being on probation? Guess we'll have to read the competing paper to find out."

Oh, really? Well, first click these links that I put in a response to you. Yeah, those, the ones that lead to stories about the team being on probation that have appeared in this paper. Then after that, come over to our office so I can kick you in the balls.

 

We had a housing development go before the local planning commission and residents were none too pleased about that. They came out raising a fuss, doing everything short of waving their canes or pitch forks. They demanded to know why the paper didn't inform them about this.

The next day, we ran an editorial saying it is the residents' responsibility to stay informed so they can avoid this kind of surprise. We referenced the seven stories we wrote about the exact project going before the council.

 

I recently wrote a story about a millionaire developer who allowed the county sheriff access to $30,000 worth of radio-controlled helicopters and digital cameras to aid search-and-rescue missions in the canyon. The copter is 10 feet long and weighs about 30 pounds, and a slightly modified set of skids to hold a $7,000 Nikon (with lens). A wireless signal sent live video to a laptop.

The guy doesn't charge the sheriff a dime to use this stuff. Of course, the first Facebook post is from screaming hillbilly, wanting to know how the sheriff can blow $30,000 of taxpayer money on a toy helicopter.

I responded with a polite version of "next time read the goddamn story."

 

We had a school that had to forfeit 16 softball wins last spring over use of an ineligible player. Lots of comments on the story about the school, coaches and the section office, but none about the journalism, until the playoffs, which they were allowed to enter. Ran a four-column shot and a story on their first-round game. Guy calls and says we shouldn't be covering them because they cheated. I wished him a nice day and hung up.

 

Dear local girls soccer coach,
Thanks for picking up your phone at 6:15 as practice was ending. Since you told me it'd be better to call you back, I figured you be ready when I called you 45 minutes late like you asked. Then you didn't answer my call or call me back. Well, after three more calls and three more messages, I ran our girls soccer previews without your team. Since this has become a habit, here's what we're doing - no more coverage. When parents complain, I'll explain how uncooperative you are. Your AD already hates you, so I'm sure he's going to love this when i tell him about it.
Sincerely,
Rhody

PS much love to the other girls coach who admitted she'd been partying a bit and was still there, but had a few minutes to talk provided I didn't make her sound like she was boozer up. That's how you get it done.

 

Working in journalism has ruined my concept of the average person's reading comprehension.

 

I'm convinced that if a story doesn't jump up and slap someone in the face, they'll think it never happened.

 

How you get it done is to say you need to do an in-person interview and ask her what bar she's at. Rookie.

 

And then two weeks later, they'd have forgotten that it slapped them and accuse us of not running it again.

During my 18-month-long stint as interim managing editor, I lost complete faith in our readers. It was caused by maybe 5 percent of the readers but they are the most vocal and will jump at the first opportunity they can to show everyone how loud and stupid they are.