Dear dimwit on the phone

"Ma'am, I don't think you understand what mocking is. I didn't mock your son's team. I insulted them. Good day." Click.

 

Sad, but true.
We still have a smattering of coaches who always report their team's score first, regardless of whether they won.

 

It's a stretch, but since it usually happens at least once a week during the high school season, like it did last night:

Dear band geek/band parent/booster club pr type with big announcement,
Look in front of me. I have my stat sheets, team rosters, clipboard, notebook, laptop and a cell phone. Do I look like the announcer? Do you think it just might possibly be one of the two men at the other men of the press box who sound very much like the gentlemen who a) have been announcing here at the Podunk Bowl for the last 20 years; and are b) HOLDING A MICROPHONE?????

 

or the other one I often get..."so who are you recruiting for?"

I usually let them know I'm with the paper instead, but on occasion I've been known to play along. "Oh yes, I'm with Big State U and we're taking a look at #3, but wow that #14 is sure catching my eye tonight. Which one is your son/daughter?"

 

Just love the folks who come up to me at games, asking me to announce something ...

 

No, I won't be your Facebook friend just so you can complain about coverage. I left the town several months ago and you should have noticed my byline hasn't been in the paper.

 

Some guy tried to FB friend me after leaving several comments on my site that I was a child molester. This will undoubtedly shock you, but he was upset that I had reported that his brother was going to jail for 18 months for a felony breaking and entering.

 

That's why I never "friended" readers. The only thing people can see on my Facebook page (unless we're friends) is my photo, a request to add me and people can send me messages. Everything else is locked down.

 

Dear Disgruntled Mom,

The reason we didn't have your favorite team's score in the paper this morning was because they played Open Date, not because we're jealous of their success.

But thanks for once again proving that your school and its fans are the biggest group of self-important assholes with the biggest sense of entitlement in our coverage area.

Sincerely,
Albert77

 

Hey! Open Date has a solid core of defenders. Not once, in the history of time, has a team scored when playing Open Date.

That's fact.

 

By not listing Open Date's score against Self-Important Town High, you're costing the Open Date players scholarship opportunities. Come on - get with it!

 

Very similar story here. I was in a two-school town. On the opening week of football season, Team A played Thursday and Team B played Friday. In Thursday morning's paper, we ran our weekly football preview package with the game times clearly marked in a breakout box and listed in several other places.

Thursday comes around and Team A plays. Naturally, we ran the game story in Friday's paper. I come in Friday afternoon and my voicemail is flooded with old ladies pissed that they can see Team A's game in the paper and not Team B's. Then we cover Team B's game on Friday and run it in Saturday's paper. As you might have guessed, my voicemail was filled with angry Team A "fans" wanting to know why Team A's game wasn't in the paper.