Dear dimwit on the phone

I and another writer once followed a head football coach mired in a three-season losing streak from the locker room to his assistant's truck as the assistant tried to block and shoo us away.

Coach got in, locked the door and put his head down. We knocked on the window and stood there. He finally rolled down the window and gave us a few quotes.

The assistant stood there fuming. Head coach told us the next week he knew we had a job to do and not to worry about the assistant.

And yes, this is a great thread.

 

I have twice had the same football coach tell me to go to hell and put in the paper that his team played like trash. Both times, before I got back to the office, he had called me to apologize and offer a few quotes.

 

Well, if we're going to go the whole "asshole coaches" route, I may as well link to this Classic SJ thread in case some of you missed if way back when ...

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/61968/

 

THat was a very good thread, highlighted by some sage advice by spnited, rest his soul.

 

The follow-up to that story, which I should have posted here, was that that coach retired at the end of that season. (Fall 2008).

Last spring, I'm at some high school event. I think it was football. I'm in the press box at halftime going over stats and he comes in. In the time since our blowup, we hadn't mentioned it to each other, kind of dealt with it in typical guy manner, i.e. let's ignore the big purple elephant in the room.

He and I are talking about something and laughing and he starts going off on the parents at this particular game, saying something to the effect of "I can't stand these parents, they're a pain in the ass to deal with." I, joking mind you, follow it up with a "Yeah, well, coaches aren't much easier" to which he laughs and says "Media too."

We then start talking about the time he blew up on me and we're laughing when he says "You know, you were an asshole and you deserved it" to which I respond "Yeah and you were as well."

He finishes the conversation with "Oh, yeah, I know".

Made my day.

 

spnited. still giving sage advice from that big newsroom in the sky.

 

How about a dumbass coach then? Oh, wait, in the form of a letter....

Dear junior college football coach.

Please, please, please, STOP, just STOP saying, "Drink the Kool-Aid." Just. Fucking. STOP!

Signed,

Apeman,
Who's going to rip his hair out if he hears that one more goddam time!

 

How about a Fresca?

 

Another "amen" from the congregation. Let's see ... only 909 people died in Jonestown, plus five others at the airport (including three journalists). And, of course, to be all technical the cyanide was mixed with a concotion called Flavor Aid ... but still, a tasteless reference.

 

Oh, I'm sure it had a taste.

 

Is hater-aid still an acceptable term?

 

Always, and in soccer, it is hator-aid.