Dear dimwit on the phone

"This," as they say on Twitter. I spend waaay too much time trying to confirm TV details of some game that may be on some cable channels in the area but maybe not all of them, in an effort to avoid all those phone-related meltdowns.

 

With all this talk of TV listings, I thought I'd share this awesome story.

I was working at a small daily in a really conservative little town. The publisher is trying to trim costs and finds a way to print the TV book on a smaller sheet, and so he tasks the main news designer with finding a way to fit it all in a significantly smaller space. The news designer spends tons of time unsuccessfully trying to do this and shows his best efforts to the publisher. The publisher, unhappy, says he'll think of a solution.

The next day he comes back and tells the designer to just cut out BET.

 

Let me guess: he doesn't know anyone who watches it.

 

Three in a span of two days:

- Dear Youth Soccer Mom, we will not be sending a photographer out to your game because your team is wearing pink socks. And when I think of "rough and tumble" 7-year-olds who can barely dribble do not come to mind.

- Dear Elementary-Middle School Volleyball Mom, we will not be running a three-column photo of your volleyball team which played only one game this year, and an exhibition one at that. The local soccer league has 80 teams alone, so you can see why running photos of every team in the tri-county coverage area could be tiresome.

- Dear High School Soccer Dad, we're not going to go back and correct the scorer of a goal in a game you WON that we weren't at. I don't care if you say it's an own goal and the coach said it was unassisted, we're going with the coach. And if the coach submits it to the state association as rival girl scoring, that's out of our control. FWIW, the girl who scored (banked it off a defender, whatever) is a way better player than your out-of-shape, uncoordinated daughter. Deal with it. And the coach has a copy of your email to me, so you can deal with her and the AD or principal.

 

BUT IT'S PINK SOCKS! THEY'RE SUPPORTING BREAST CANCER RESEARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

</sarcasm>

 

It's a c-o-n ... spiracy! (says the guy who works with CKK)

 

Tonight, I got a call from the same person who called on a near-nightly basis this past recently completed baseball season asking what time/channel the Braves game was on. He asked what time wrestling was on. I had him clarify. He then asked what time Monday wrestling is on tonight. A) If this guy is a wrestling fan, he should know it's on the same network, the same time every week. And B) It's Tuesday.

 

Got the same note. We'll take a pass. And call me a heartless bastard if you wish, but, isn't the whole thing getting cliche?

 

It was on the front of the sports section in my local daily (not where I work), so yes, it's played out.

 

I say we just join in on the fun and wear pink socks, ties, dress shirts, boxers to any game we happen to cover in October.

 

Good times, good times. It's been on the same time since roughly 1994, and the same channel for the past eight years or so, except for a brief hiatus on TNN.

 

Heck, it's been on the same time in one form or another (Great: Gorilla and Heenan; Awful: Vince hosting roundtables, and Vince hosting in front of an "audience" of exhausted employees) since 1985.