Dear dimwit on the phone

I'm not sure of what the rules exactly are in Ohio or Pennsylvania, but know of one instance in particular where a player played varsity football his eighth grade year at an Ohio school (at a mess of an inner city program). He later transferred to my high school in Pennsylvania (we were, and still are, right across the state line) and it cost him a year of varsity eligibility for having played as an eighth grader. I can't remember exactly how it all went down, but he eventually was forced to sit out his senior year because of playing in eighth grade (it wasn't a forced sit out for having transferred across the border, as is commonplace).

The only sport I've seen middle schoolers of any age compete in anything varsity in Pennsylvania is cross country and it's only on an exhibition basis.

 

Partially, although there had been considerable rumors that the girl's father was one of those extremly pushy parents (the Marv Marinovich of girls cross country, so to speak), and would enter the girl in multiple road races, even against her HS coach's advice.

 

Dear Volleyball Dad,

I already got your daughter's final stats from her coach. I also received the first e-mail you sent regarding her "signing" with a D-III school a few weeks ago. I'm guessing the reason you sent it again was you heard I'd made all-star calls last night... and your daughter's phone remained silent.

I hope you realize your kid's embarrassed by your behavior, and apologized on your behalf last time I interviewed her.

PaperDoll

P.S. Aside to college soccer dad: Thanks for remembering that we're professionals, and thus we checked the facts in your promotional e-mail about your son... and ran the appropriate two sentences today. Can you please go away 'til next fall?

 

Well, at least you didn't cost her a chance at playing in college. But you DID cost her a scholarship! LOL

 

I signed a two-year contract with T-Mobile recently. Why weren't you there?

YOU ONLY COVER US WHEN WE HAVE EARLY TERMINATION FEES!

 

I am in the eastern part of the state (Section II), and we certainly rarely see that in football, basketball, baseball, softball, etc. You'll see it in some of the sports you mentioned and in the lighter weights in wrestling, especially at the smaller schools.

I was more thinking of a seventh or eighth grader who was having consistent success at the varsity level.

And, again, I came from a plce you never saw it.

 

Dear dimwit online,

Apropos of absolutely nothing, you sent me this message tonight: "the fact that your slanderous tongue still has a job not funny. Go work for waste management you're good with trash."

WTF? First of all, I haven't written anything remotely controversial recently other than a follow up on a court case. Second, that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

I don't even know how to respond to this one. Any advice, or does it just go in the ignore stack?

 

You should say "Yeah, I am good with trash. Ask your mother!".

That would KILL in third grade.

 

I can't decide if that would be a more or less awesome response coming from me since I'm a girl.

 

Smash isn't a very female name.

 

More.

 

THERE ARE GIRLS ON THE INTERNET???!?!