Dear dimwit on the phone

fixed it

 

Here's an easy fix...put your first 2-3 paragraphs online and make the readers actually pay for reading your work.

 

Wish I could. My old shop had a pay wall. Unfortunately my new shop doesn't and I have no control over online content. More than aggravating.

 

Dear constant letter writer,
Your hand writing would be considered atrocious by a doctor, and I've told you before your hand writing is hard to read. Given that, I don't understand why you're surprised when we print a letter where we mistook one number for another. I'm sorry for the mistake, but leaving me a message on my machine telling me shame on me for not being able to read your handwriting is bull. Please, I highly encourage you to engage in solo acts of carnal knowledge. Wait, forget encourage, you must engage in solo acts of painful carnal knowledge. Needless to say, until your old ass learns how to use a computer so I don't have to decipher your handwriting, none of your letters will be printed.

Signed,
overly tired and pissed off Spartan

 

I prefer having everything go up, but it's a business decision, so we scxrew our online readers.

 

Dear constant letter writer: PS: We no longer take handwritten or typewritten letters. Send us email.

(Says the guy who has to type the column from the 88-year-old senior citizen columnist, because our typist retired.)

 

Dear City Council secretary: I'm not retyping the PDF (or figuring out how to cut and paste from it) of the letter to the editor on city letterhead that Mr. Upset Councilman wrote to criticize the mayor - the same mayor that wanted to lay you off because the City Council doesn't need a secretary and the city has a huge deficit. The council chairwoman already prepares the agenda, so you have nothing to do but waste taxpayers' cash doing things like this.

Please don't give the beat reporter crap about me not retyping the PDF. (She did later send it in a Word document, which I requested.)

Oh, and should YOU be sending politically motivated letters? Your job isn't to get in the middle of this town's bare-knuckle politics. Let Mr. Upset Councilman send it himself. What, Mr. Upset Councilman is pushing 70 so he might not know how to send an email? Tough.

 

Dear Wolv,
Go to edit, highlight all then hit control C, then to go to whatever you want to paste the document in and hit control V.

KY

 

Dear wrestling parents:

Telling us that we don't post results is a shame and then go on a rant about how we do nothing for area wrestling and how the coach ALWAYS gets his results in THAT night so WE should have the results in the paper. Maybe, you should check with the coach so he knows our deadline to get stuff in is 11 p.m., so him sending the results at 12:06 a.m. does us no good. Enjoy seeing the results in Sunday's paper. I'm sure you'll think your note shamed us into getting the info in finally, like we were intentionally. Good for you. Now fuck off.

Spike

 

Sounds like they hired a new typist.

 

Dear fanboi:

You are not a member or owner of any team, so please stop using "we" to refer to said team. It is also sad that as a man in his mid-20s, you referring to athletes, some of whom are 19 and 20, is pathetic. In addition, please find a new clothing store besides the team store.

Thanks,
An adult

 

That does not always work, depending on how the PDF wasmade.