Dear dimwit on the phone

Dear every non-sports person at Podunk,

I don't work as much during the summer because all we have is little league and American Legion baseball. I've been in both of my so-called days off for the past nine months to cover high school sports while you have been enjoying your days off or coming in for 20 minutes on the weekend to turn in a press release you got a quote for and slapped your byline on it. I'll come in more during the summer when I see you working on your days off.

Hugs and kisses,
JF

P.S. No, I'm not coming down to the county fair to photograph every 4-H kid holding his or her farm animal that won a event. It's not sports. When I see you helping me out on a Saturday when I'm out for 10 or 12 hours covering three events, I'll think about taking some photos of cows and pigs.

 

Dear obnoxious higher-up,

No, we won't cover this weekend's pee-wee basketball tournament. Yes, there are more important things right now, like playoff soccer and baseball and soccer seasons that are in the heat of the district race. Yes, because readership demands, we prioritize high school coverage as best as we can with our three-man staff. Yes, I understand parents of those pee-wee basketballers want coverage, but, guess what, our readers don't. They want the high school coverage, more and more of it - and yes, I do know this, because I just received a call saying so. So, please back off sports and pay attention more to, oh I don't know, managing the newspaper.

Thank you.

 

I can roundup Alaskan prep sports too, but my readership in the lower 48 doesn't care. I'm not going to work on something that one person gives a lick about when there is much more to do.

 

There's a big, BIG difference between a D-II school in your state, relatively close to your coverage area, that probably has some fans and alumni in your coverage area that are interested in readng about their team reaching an NCAA regional or NCAA tournament, and high school scores from three states away.
I don't want to derail a great venting/ranting thread, just wanted to point out that this one seems off the mark. Of course, I'm assuming this is basketball or some other major sport. If it's women's lacrosse, then I apologize and Inky's complaint is valid.

 

exactly.

this is why a weekly or bi-weekly college journal is a good idea. You can do small blurbs about the locals playing here and there across the country and have a nice 10-15 inch local story for your section.

 

Yeah, thought of that. But the school's Web site wasn't updated until two days later. We're talking barely DII here.

 

Fair enough. We have a DII school here that has plenty of regional interest (lots of alumni, some local ties and they've won national championships in a couple different sports in the last decade), so your situation is one we occasionally deal with. In a pinch, you can always try the opponent's web site or the NCAA website if it's an NCAA tournament.
And I'm not unsympathetic here. We're also in SWAC country, and sometimes you're lucky if those schools update their sites by the end of the month.

 

Dear person who dropped off your letter to the editor at the receptionist today,

We can tell by the content of your letter that you don't read the paper because everything you think is being kept secret by the school district has been in the paper. Additionally, if you had read the paper, you might — might — have noticed that thing on the editorial page that says we don't accept unsigned letters.

I know you didn't forget to sign it. Next time you want to use our paper to be a chicken shit and spout off conspiracy theories, use the comments section on the Web site like everybody else.

Signed,

Apeman

 

Well, that just proves the conspiracy.

Sincerely,

anonymous loon


p.s., I bet you won't print this one either. I knew it.

 

Dear my editors,
I know the unused photo office isn't mine. Since you haven't assigned me a desk - like you have for everyone else - and I've been working in there for the last two years, I thought it would be fine to move some stuff in, which is why i didn't appreciate your joke of putting up your own stuff all over the space that I've called home these last 24 months. Was it mature for me to pack everything up and put it out of sight? No. Was it mature that you retaliated by taking my plaque off the wall? No. But at least I would have the common courtesy to return the items if you asked for them, which you never did, unlike you who said I wasn't getting my stuff back.
Oh, and if wasn't for the sports section, our paper would be a colossal piece of shit.
-Rhody

PS You still haven't told me how I do your job and your editorial assistant's job by myself, yet you make a ton more than I do.

 

Someone's pissed...

 

You have no idea.