Dear dimwit on the phone

Dear Passengers,

Quit whining all the time.

As a veteran airport customer service agent I am so tired of hearing whining and complaining passengers all day long. If I went to your jobs and acted like many of you do at the ticket counters, in the gate areas and on the planes I would probably be arrested. First of all, read signs and quit expecting us to treat you like little kids. You can't find your way to a bathroom? Can't read a boarding pass? Act like you are "entitled" to a certain seat on the plane. You don't own the plane, you just rent the seat for the duration of the flight; remember that! You wanted cheaper fares? Well, join the other former Greyhound patrons who are now flying. You wonder why that 300 lb woman with a handful of teeth and body odor using multiple seatbelt extensions is sitting next to you? She can now afford it, thanks to you.

You complained when food was served and now you complain that it is not served. Can't figure out how to go through security checkpoints? Do you want me to "Map Quest" it for you? Never read any sign anywhere in the airport and then say "nobody told you where to go?" I'll tell you where to go. You come with a bad attitude when everything is on time and you're late. What did you want?........,us to hold the plane for you? You'd be the first one to complain if the flight was held for someone else and is late. You get mad when the flights are full and then when the flights are half full, you want us to complimentary place you in first class out of the kindness of our hearts. This is a BUSINESS! The object is to make MONEY! Last time I checked this is an airline. If you want to move call Bekins or Van Lines. They are the ones with the trailers. Besides you don't need to bring everything you own for the weekend.

Yes, sometimes we do have some attitude. It's probably due to dealing with some of you idiots who fly today. We are NOT babysitters or Psychiatrists. We did not have an "attitude" when we started in this business so I wonder where it came from. Saying NO does not mean we are rude, it means you dont get everything just because YOU want it. Again, this is a BUSINESS - NOT lets make a deal ! Use some common sense and quit acting stupid. Bring your BRAIN to the airport. You seem to want to bring everything else. Our pay is downsized and our staff is downsized so guess what, we are not happy campers on the other side of that counter. Remember that when you ask for the 5th time in 5 minutes when are you going to board the flight . . it's still half an hour before departure . . . as it's ALWAYS been. Oh yeah, contrary to what you might think .. or you might try reading it as the boarding time is printed on your boarding pass along with the GATE NUMBER !!!

One more note: WE DO NOT CONTROL THE WEATHER!

Respectfully:
Your Airline Agent....

 

in fairness, I wasn't the only one who complained.

 

Which is why airlines blame practically all delays/cancellations on the weather, regardless of the actual cause.

 

That's simply not true

 

Dear PR person for local youth league:
I'm not going to write your announcement about signups for you from notes over the phone. Sit down in front of your computer, write it yourself and e-mail it in. Oh, your computer has a virus? Not my problem. Do it the old-fashioned way. Write it out in longhand and snail-mail it in or drop it off at the front desk. Yes, I know you're angry, but rules is rules.

 

Around here, we have football season, baseball season, basketball season and registration notice season.

 

The guy who called last night to unload his anger about the local ballclub presented his opinion that said team would be out of the division race by the end of April, then asked me, "Do you agree with my hypotenuse?"

 

Did you know a squared and b squared?

 

Hmmm...Didn't know Pythagoras was a Red Sox fan.

 

Dear local school,

It's cute that you want to highlight how your girls did in a track meet. But when you literally do that and fax it in, all that does is black their names out.

 

Dear dumbass mom calling in for the local soccer team,
1) I don't give a shit that it was Senior night and it would mean a lot to the kids, deadline is deadline. 2) If you hadn't "got the boys something to eat after the game," you would have been able to meet the deadline. Oh, and 3) Yes, we have a deadline. At some point, we have to get the paper out. We're not holding for your team. We aren't 24/7. Just because you "didn't know we had a deadline," doesn't mean you can call whenever you feel like it to report the score.

 

Here too (with soccer and swimming/water polo going on continuously). And just about all the leagues know what day we run announcements, what kind of information we need, what the deadline is and, although its never said, appreciate the public service we provide. But this one, I could hear she was offended when I didn't want take dictation. If they only understood that e-mailing the 411 is the best way to do things, since it cuts the error factor to almost zero.