Dear dimwit on the phone

I just threw up my half-price Easter candy.

 

Got a forwarded email from one of our advertising employees with some gymnastics results:

Keep in mind the email subject line is: "Local Boys Gymnastic (sic) Team wins 3rd Place Team Trophy at 2012 State Gymnastic (sic) Meet"

"Could you do me a favor and see if we can get some press for these boys?
I coach the Podunk boys gymnastics team and they did a great job this year.
I’d like to see if we can spread the news that Podunk has a team and a winning one at that."

You didn't win anything. You finished third.

 

But they tried super, super hard and only fell off the beam 34 times!

 

Third out of how many, for that matter? If there were only four gymnasitc (sic) teams in the state, then they finished next-to-last.

 

That's what the fuck that meant? I totally missed that.

 

At least the bibbidy-bobbidy-boo part. The other part sounds like a shitty softball bench chant.

 

We have a woman in town who takes out a (paid) In Memoriam ad every year.

She complains every year.

Last year, we ran it on one column, and called to tell us she was upset and everyone in the family was upset, because of all the line breaks and split names. It got re-run.

This year, the composing room head did it all herself, two columns, all nice.

The call came yesterday, "all . . . upset."

The crease of the page fold ran through the middle of his face, spoiling everything.

No. No re-run.

 

Just send her a PDF of the page...or print one for her from the printer. Problem solved.

 

Actually, that's exactly what I suggested to the three people debating it.

 

To look on the bright side: At least someone's buying an ad, though.

 

Small town weekly, KY. We do a pretty steady business in these, and some come in yearly, like clockwork.

 

That soccer thing is crazy...seen some similar stuff over the years, but that is by far the goofiest. Love the press releases that take 12 phone calls to deduct what actually happened.