Dear dimwit on the phone

The lead item in our weekly announcements section lists what the deadline is and where to send them. That way not only is it the first thing folks see in the paper, but online as well. Same information is part of my voicemail greeting. So, of course, there's always one or two calls a month asking what the deadline is.

 

A story comment on our Facebook page this morning:

"Is there any possible way (short of unliking The Podunk News) to NOT receive any sports news? I'm not interested in sports and it takes up so much space. Thanks!"

I enjoyed it. It's hard to be THIS slovenly and lazy.

Some other solutions he/she forgot to mention:

1. Scrolling past the links to sports stories.
2. Not reading the sports stories, which apparently burn his/her eyes.

 

"Yes. Go back to Myspace."

 

It's common sense, though. If the paper is already on the stands, how am I going to get something in.

And in the other case, it's not hard to read the rules.

I agree, some of the things we are mentioning here can be seen as petty.

Some not so much ("You hate our school/never cover us.")

I think what it is is that this job, which it can be terrific, can be frustrating even without the stupid.

 

You see, I don't have any sympathy for people. My last name is difficult to spell and, so, there's a better than average chance that if they got my email address correct, they got it either 1.) from the paper, which clearly spells out our submission policy and deadlines or 2.) from the website, which does the same.

No excuse.

 

No call or email, just a venting of frustration:

When I was a kid, all the way through high school, I got my name in the paper four times. All four came in the agate section for finishing third in the 300 hurdles. My parents didn't push, or call, or send letters to the local sports editor for more, because, let's face it, I didn't deserve it.

But now that I'm in this business, I tend to come across too many parents who feel it is their kid's right to have his or her name in the paper. And not just for sports. And not just their names. They all want little stories done on little Johnny because he hit two doubles in a house league game, the second of which drove in the game-winning run.

What may seem to be the biggest game in the world to daddy and mommy isn't very big to anyone else. I've been in this business for 10 years, and it just seems to be getting worse. Getting your name in the paper used to be something special. Now I think parents just push and push until it loses it's luster. I've typed in the name of an 8-year-old youth soccer player 12 weeks in a row. Jesus Christ.

There, rant over.

 

I get you. Right now, I've got a 13-year-old baseball team sending in a photo every week because they're winning tournaments. And I want to tell them that it's not that special until you get to the time of year when it's a state or regional tournament. Because if you keep sending in stuff in March and April, people are going to be sick of it in May and June. Right now, I don't know if the competition is good or crap but the coach has mentioned their "national ranking" a couple of times. What organization is ranking 13-year-old traveling teams on a national basis?

 

The kind of organization that will take your money to enter tournaments to be eligible for a national ranking.

 

Dear ex-felon,

I can think of nothing better than to go through our archives searching for an incident nine years ago where you got shot with a bean bag. And don't worry, the fact that you can't remember which month this incident occurred in is no problem. I'll be happy to pour through 12 books (or a stack of CDs which are unreliable) looking for this thing where you got shot by a non-leathal device. I'm not short staffed and over worked, so I have all the time to look for this.

 

You should ask him, "Are ex-felons not allowed in the library?"

 

Sticking with this trend:
We've got one softball team that has had a photo in the paper three or four weeks running now. And it's just April 23.

Give me a break.

 

So make a new rule: "No team photos until postseason tournaments."
Get whoever needs to rubber stamp the rule to do so.
Then, stick to it.

Not as easy as it sounds..I know...but damn it would be nice to push a reset button of sorts on coverage and start from scratch. Kinda like turning off a video game and starting over. Where is that option? LOL