Dear dimwit on the phone

In my area, the top "three-sport" athletes would be a list about three names long. For an entire county.

Specialization is evil. That's all.

 

I think these post times are Pacific TZ.

 

Dear clueless old bat:
Yes, you're right that we didn't have results from the local horse track in the paper. If you had looked closely at the paper, you would have seen the note that the track did not send us the results. We can't print what we don't have.

Also, I really liked how you spent 2 minutes telling me what a disgrace our paper is, but didn't have the nerve to leave your phone number so that I could call you back.

If all you want to do is whine and complain, I would prefer that you talk to what I can only imagine is the dozen or so cats you live with, and not waste my time.

 

caller ID is a glorious tool!

 

Can I ask which track? You should've asked her if she had the internet. If she says Yes, send her to The Daily Racing Form. LOL

 

You'd be amazed at the number of people who respond with, "I don't do computers" around here. I know it's playing to a stereotype, but based on how old she sounded, I'd be surprised if she has Internet access or even knows how to use a computer.

Caller ID? I wish. Our voicemail system typically will give a callback number, but this lady was calling from "an external number," that our system couldn't track.

 

Gotta love voice mail. Gives people a chance to rant and rave and get it all off their chest and I can delete the message without wasting my time getting into a pissing match.

 

No sir, we will not cover a summer baseball team from the other side of the state. Why? Well we cover things we think people in the area care about. Yes sir, we covered the team last week because there were playing in this city's stadium a few miles from the office. Ah, your son has some minor role managing the team? Great...

 

But the caller is a person from your area and clearly he cares so ...

 

Reminds me once of a phone call I got at the small town daily where I worked. This was a p.m. paper with a Saturday a.m. edition, with no Sunday paper. Keep in mind that this was the late 90s, email wasn't as universal as it is now, and neither was our technology at the paper.

Call came, I'd say, around 11 p.m. on a Friday night.

Me: Hello, Podunk Daily Times

Other guy: Hello, what time do you go to press?

Me: Um, pretty shortly.

Other guy: Well, how shortly does the press start running?

Me: It starts running at midnight.

Other guy: Then I'm not too late.

Me: Actually, our deadline for results is 10:30, but I'll see if I have some space on the sports page.

Other guy: No, I'm not calling for a sports result. I'm Kane the Undertaker at the Paul Bearer Funeral Home. I have a funeral notice that has to run tomorrow morning. The funeral is Sunday.

Me: I'm sorry sir, but the deadline for obituaries is at 5 p.m. for the Saturday paper.

Other guy: What do you mean, 5 p.m.? You just said the press started at midnight.

Me: That's true sir, but we do the obituary pages in advance. The pages are already done and gone to press.

Other guy: You said the press hasn't started yet. So I have time to submit this funeral notice in. What's your fax number?

Me: Sir, it's not going to run tomorrow.

Other guy: Why not? What are you guys doing down there?

Me: Because we don't have time to receive your fax, type in your notice, tear up the page, re-design the page, get it ready for the camera, shoot it, and then get it up on the press in 55 minutes.

Other guy: Why don't you have time? Who else is there?

Me: The Assistant News Editor.

Other guy: Let me talk to him.

Me: He's busy.

Other guy: Doing what?

Me: Putting out the rest of the paper.

Then the guy threatened to call the publisher, I told him to go ahead, although if he did, then he would guarantee that it wouldn't run. That Monday, publisher told me about it, and said the guy had been an asshole for years.

 

This is about a month late, but someone called following the Wimbledon final, complaining about the photo we ran of Andy Murray (he was on his back with his feet in the air). She felt it was unfair to him because he had worked so hard to get there, and that photo didn't do justice to how well he played in the tournament.

She also seemed to think that our photo editor was responsible for choosing all the photos in our paper, which made me laugh.

She, too, failed to leave her phone number, which did not make me laugh.

 

You're lucky he didn't chokeslam you, especially if the obit was for Katie Vick.