Dear dimwit on the phone

Dear Letter to the Editor writer:

Please don't just quote scripture and then tell people to go to church....that's annoying. What am I supposed to write as a header to it?

Pious assclown makes demand

 

While we're at it ...

Dear extreme religious person who takes their fantasy mumbo jumbo too seriously.

Just because you can quote a book of make believe doesn't make you better than anyone else.

I can quote the Lord of the Rings. That doesn't mean people have to follow me on my quest back to the shire.

So, next time you want to justify your beliefs because some book backs you up, know that I don't give a shit and you can promptly shove your fiction up your ass.

Asshole.

Sincerely,

Someone who has developed intellectually since first grade.

 

I'll give you a dollar...

 

With some of these posts, who is the dimwit on the phone? I'm having a tough time picking it out.

 

I think the only thing I got out of this was that you can quote Lord of the Rings. I demand an explanation!

 

I'm a geek.

 

Ditto, Big Circus, ditto.

 

Good solution to that ... don't cover it. Let the school news people cover it instead.

My policy was pretty simple. If the local high school association AND the NCAA don't sanction it as a sport, then it's not a sport. It goes on the school page with the academic team & band news.

Thankfully, our state association doesn't sanction competitive cheer yet, so we're OK.

Most schools in our area have 2 cheer squads -- the "competitive" one and the "spirit" squad, which is essentially the JV. The ones that have one squad that does everything won't show up for half the football or basketball games due to "competitions," but they'll be the first in front of the camera when the fb/bb teams win a championship (and demand that they, too, get championship patches for their letter jackets).

 

"Cheer" parents, especially the stage mothers, don't read the sports section anyway and would just as soon see it on a school news/lifestyle page. That's where it runs in our paper without complaint.

 

Dear douche in upper management,

That's nice you live in the rich suburb. I wish I could afford to live in the rich suburb. I'm sorry your neighbor goes Nurse Ratchet every time the rich suburbs' girls field hockey score isn't in the paper. Sure, I'll spend two and a half hours of my shift trying to find the girls field hockey coach every night they play, just to get in the score, if that's what you deem important to the overall health of your robust paper,. Just don't expect me to ever respect you again for the rest of your fucking life.

I can't wait until you are trying to pay for that condo on unemployment.

Love,
Sports Dude

 

Dear softball mom,
No, I didn't go to Dickhead High. I'm not from here.
We don't like Pusbag High better; they are nationally ranked and their coach calls in every game, that's why they get better coverage than your team where the coach calls in after he cleans the field, eats dinner and snaps one off with the wife.
We do not like Pusbag High better than your daughter's school.
We hate you all equally.
Love,
Slappy

 

Dear little old person on the phone,

No, I don't know what time the Cubs are playing. I gave up on them in April because they suck. You should too. Learn to use the internet or pick up one of those folding schedules and use your bifocals for something other than giving nasty looks to people.

Sincerely,

Me