Dear dimwit on the phone

Why did he demand another story? Did he not like the photo or something?

 

His grandson wasn't mentioned in the story.

Well he did mention he didn't want no cheerleader pictures in the paper (there weren't; our A1 pic was of girls in the stands with their faces painted) and his grandson wasn't mentioned in the story.

 

You should have told him, "Sir, how about I leave your phone number for the cheerleading parents to complain to."

 

Ah, the Bully Archetype. You handled it perfectly.

 

Dear angry lady:
I'm sorry our story says you were arrested, but that's what the release that came from the sheriff's office said -- it was in the first sentence, in fact.

When you call 20 minutes after deadline, there is absolutely nothing I can do. I can't do anything about the print product; I can't call the sheriff and ask if you were, in fact, arrested; and I won't change the story online, taking your word over a police news release.

If the release is wrong, we will run a correction.

Please, keep yelling, though, because loudness is soooooo persuasive.

BTW, I hope you called the TV station to yell at them, too, because they had the same information in their story that we had in ours.

 

Dear Mom of kids who compete in every single thing and have been in our paper several times this summer,

No, it wasn't a mistake or an omission on our part that your little offspring's results from a cross country meet weren't in today's paper. Last I checked, your kids aren't high school runners so they're not going to get their results run with the high school kids. We run middle school and below results on our weekly youth page, which I've told you I don't know how many times before.

But thanks for the rude email this morning. Really got my day off to a great start.

 

Dear old lady who called and left me a message,

While I applaud your desire to sit through my 35-second-long voicemail greeting, if you would have taken the time to listen to it, you would have heard me say, very clearly, that I am the editor of the EDITORIAL department of our newspaper. That means I edit news stories and such.

What I do not do is handle the delivery of your newspaper and I do not have anything to do with whether or not you got the TV guide section of your newspaper this week. I thought saying that you had to direct your circulation-related questions to our circulation director--and giving you said person's name and number--might have helped you figure that out on your own BEFORE you left me a message but I guess I was wrong.

Also, I'm not quite sure what it is, exactly, that you thought you were going to accomplish by demanding that I not only call you back immediately but also deliver you the TV guide portion of your paper "by tomorrow."

First, I don't answer to you. Second, even if I did, I don't work in that department and will not be helping you in any way, shape or form lest my bosses think they can saddle me with circulation tasks and fire the person in charge of that too.

So, while I'm sorry you won't get to "find out what's on TV", I think it's high time you learn how to work a remote control with a guide button and find the f**k out for yourself. And, if you can't be bothered to do that, at least call the right number before bitching about not getting your 1970's piece of television technology.

Yours in peace,

Schieza

 

Next person who calls and asks if its OK if they send a team photo in, I swear I'm going tell them they can't without a note from their mother or primary care physican! That or several small, unmarked bills or the deed to a condo in Maui (not a time-share).

 

I always tell them "Sure, send it it."

Never say whether we'll use it

 

Wait a second, volleyball coach, what is a "stuff block?" Are there actually different kinds of blocks are are you just trying on your own to make your middle hitter's stats sound better than they actually are?

 

Sounds like the soccer coach I covered for a few years that added "defensive stops" for players other than the keeper.

 

I had a volleyball coach who counted passes. The part-timer, unfortunately, fell for it one time and actually made it a pretty big part of a story.

This coach, who was let go after the season, also sent an email after a column where I specifically said I was discussing football and soccer that I forgot to mention her team that went to state. The first issue is obvious. The second is they were placed in a play-in game and lost, thus not qualifying for a spot in the state tournament.