Dear dimwit on the phone

Funny how none of the coaches around here, not even at the juco, have said anything about block assists until today. And I don't know if this coach is using the stat right, anyway. I guess I'll put them in as she reports them and let the readers decide for themselves.

"Stuff blocks" are still bullshit, though.

 

you sure you're interpreting the stuff block correctly, ape?

 

Very possible. It's much more likely for someone to have a block assist than a solo block, since you almost never get only one girl going up for a block in volleyball. I also disagree with Mark that it has to add up to an even number - since three girls can get a block assist on one play, it's not always going to come out even.

The 9.5 blocks does seem like a lot for one girl, but if it's high school, then it could just be the case of a dominant team at the net versus a terrible one (or generous blocks vs. hitting errors from whoever was scoring).

Also, you don't really hear "block assists" from most coaches because they combine them before they tell them to you. The volleyball coaches I work with just say a girl had 3.5 blocks rather than one block and five block assists. A half-sack is a really good comparison. Some coaches do break down solo sacks versus half-sacks, but most only use that for their records and don't bother breaking it down when reporting scores.

 

I can only think she's trying to say a "stuff block" is one that lands on the other side of the net, versus "other blocks" -- where they get their hands on the ball but it stays in play, which aren't counted as blocks, anyway. It just seems "stuff" is an extra, unnecessary word.

Again, it remains funny that until this week these coaches had never used anything other than "block" before. Then I get two twists on it within three days. =0/

But when "stuff block" coach emails me tomorrow, I'm going to shoot her a line back asking her to clarify.

 

a stuff block basically is a kill block ... or a block another team can't touch.
i dunno. i kinda like the stat.

 

A block the other team can't touch? Should call it a Hammer block, then.

 

holy fuck, double H. that was a quality post, right there.
i so, so tip my cap.

 

Seconded. A thunderous kill, to be sure.

 

Why not just keep it simple? "Coach, how many service points did she have?"

 

Dear Crazy Lady Without Internet Access,

I'm sorry you lost your puppy.

However, I'm not sure why you think it is worthy of an "article" or why you called the sports editor at 5 p.m. on a Saturday.

I referred you to the fact that you need to take out a classified ad and I'm sorry you didn't believe me when I told you I don't know the classified ad rate for a missing animal without looking it up.

However, when several and perhaps hundreds of other area businesses are closed Monday, I'm not sure why you feel we should have someone in the office willing to take your classified ad (since you didn't know what time you could show up), a second person to lay it out and a third to make sure it got in the paper Tuesday.

I hope you find Fido.

Hugs and Kisses,

CK2

 

Quite possibly one of the funniest retorts I've seen on here in quite a while, and that's saying something.