Dear dimwit on the phone

HejiraHenry · Sep 28, 2012

Damn if they would have just stopped after three grafs, that's not an awful pitch.

Holy smoke.

spikechiquet · Sep 28, 2012

From a dumbass...I mean "reader":

"I am the water boy for the Panthers football team and I don't think it's right that they only gets a few inches of a story on the fourth page for beating local Catholic school, while our old coach and quarterback gets a story plus a picture.
You'd think when two local powerhouses play, it would be bigger news."

Dear Bobby Boucher Jr.:
-The old coach and old QB of Bumblefuck High (dad got a new job and moved north) played against a local team...so it's not like we went out of our way to go cover them.
- We had covered all 4 Bumblefuck games this season and we knew it would be a blowout and we cover 60 some schools overall and about 20 pretty much all the time...so they have gotten their share of coverage
- "powerhouses", you mean the 5-0 team beat the 1-4 team by 43?! yeah...that's why we just had them call in!

I'm sure you will think the reason we are covering you this Friday night is because of your "stirring" letter to the editor. Well, sit on it Potsie! It's not.

spikechiquet · Sep 28, 2012

Justin_Rice said:

the impact that this SPORT, ( it is a sport even though it's not fully recognized as one),
Click to expand...

To this person, this is what an athlete looks like:
<img src="http://welltempered.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/paul-haugen.jpg">

Mark2010 · Sep 28, 2012

Justin_Rice said:

I win this thread.

An actual email, from an alleged reader (with names changed to protect the innocent).

***

Hello,

I am not sure who I am suppose to contact in regards to my request, so I am emailing several reporters within the staffing department. I hope this does not cause conflict and I apologize up front if I am contacting the wrong people. Can you please give me some assistance and guidance.

This Saturday, 9/29/12, there will be a high school marching band competition held at Bumblefuck High School. I would like to do a special feature of this because my son's college marching band will be in attendance doing a special performance for the high school kids. My son, Little Joey, along with Big Stevie and Richie Rich are graduates of West Bumblefuck HS and alumni of WB Marching Yellow Hornets and are currently attending Upstate University and 3 of the 500 person Marching Fuckwads of UUniversity, who will be here on Saturday at Bumblefuck High to do a special performance at 3pm. You did a featured piece of my son, Little Joey, back in 2010-2011, when he being a graduate of Bumblefuck Marching Eagles went to London to perform in the New Years Day Parade held for the Queen of England with the Update State Marching Ducks.

Now the Ducks are coming to town and I think this would be a great opportunity to do a featured report of how important and impacting music and marching band is to our Bumblefuck Community and our kids. The Performing Arts of Music does not get enough recognition as to how important it is to our children and their future. My son, Little Joeyhis childhood friends, Stevie & Mary Jane are just 3 examples of the this.

What I would like to do and I will pay for this featured article if I have too but would prefer that it's news worthy enough for me not too, is have a reporter meet me at the competition on Saturday, catch the performance of Bumblefuck's performance then see for yourself the performance of Upstate University. See the impact to the all the kids who are watching. I would like to have the reporter meet Mrs. Cindy Lou, high school band Director of Bumblefuck to get a few words from her then meet the Director, Mr. JoeBob the of the Upstate University Band and get a few words from him as to why he takes his Marching Band to High Schools in the first place, the message he is trying to get out there for these kids and I can also arrange a quick meeting to
get a few words from a MIDDLE SCHOOL Band Director, Mrs. Gobbledeegook, who can give a few words to the impact of even the youngest of kids, where the introduction of picking up that instrument takes place in our school system in 6th grade and her role in that beginning process. This is perfect opportunity to see the chain of events unfold from 6th grade through college, the impact that this SPORT, ( it is a sport even though it's not fully recognized as one), time, effort, tears and sweat that goes into the years and years and years of practices and performing that these kids have done. Joey and Betty Sue are Juniors at Update University and Stevie a Sophomore, all three of these young accomplished adults that came from the Bumblefuck School system
have been playing their instrument of choice since the 6th grade, they started from the beginning and hung in there through all the work, all the practices, all the years, all of that hard work to find themselves performing with one of the top rated college Marching Bands in the United States.

I would like a featured picture to be taken, if I can coordinate it with the chaos of the day of Mr. Giggles, Mrs. MaryJane, Mrs. Whatshername standing with Joey, Stevie & Betty Sue, in front of the three band directors then in front of them, three Bumblefuck marching band members and then in front of them, three middle school kids, kinda like in a pyramid, show casing the generation from the youngest to what they become of the eldest, the director's. However, with the different time
schedules involved of all three bands, I will need the reporter to be in attendance from about 1pm to 3:30ish pm to get the picture and see the performances and get the feel for what this featured article is truly about. I will describe to the reporter during performances and Upstate U's performance of what they are seeing and how things work during this two in a half window of the reporters time and take the reporter to the director's for a quick interview in between the shows and i will try and coordinate this featured photo I speak of doing if at all possible.

That is a featured article I'd pay for to have in our community news paper. The dynamics from middle school directors, such as Mrs. Whosacallit through a college Director such as Mr. Whatshisname and the achievements of both the students and the Director's who as Bumblefuck so NOTABLY states as their modo works together, " AS ONE." All in the name of the Performing Arts of Music.

Who might I speak with or hire or whatever it is I need to do or talk to, to get a reporter for this. Again, I apologize if I am emailing the wrong place, perhaps direct me to the right person to speak with.

Thank you for your time and response,
Click to expand...

Dear Reader:

Sorry to hear that you have too much time on your hands. You are welcome to come over after band practice and mow my lawn and clean out the garage.

We will run a notice in the metro section to the effect of: "Bubblefuck High School is holding a band recital on Saturday. Some extra noise may be noticed in areas surrounding the campus. The district apologizes for the inconvenience."

schiezainc · Sep 29, 2012

It's actually not a bad story to do ... if a reporter came up with the idea on their own. This heavy-handed BS is beyond ridiculous. I would go and write a story contradicting everything she suggested as a matter of principle alone.

But, hey, she offered to pay so maybe this is how we build this business back. Writers/Integrity for Hire! Come get it!

ColdCat · Sep 29, 2012

Spoke with a golfer today who got invited to a big junior tournament with golfers from several different states. She mentioned at one point that she had some interest from D-I schools but no offers and said, "if you guys do a story on me, that might help my chances of getting a scholarship."
Yep, that's what we're here for.

KYSportsWriter · Sep 29, 2012

Lieslntx said:

Wow.
Click to expand...

This.

I'm a former band geek, and that made me cringe.

KYSportsWriter · Sep 29, 2012

ColdCat said:

Spoke with a golfer today who got invited to a big junior tournament with golfers from several different states. She mentioned at one point that she had some interest from D-I schools but no offers and said, "if you guys do a story on me, that might help my chances of getting a scholarship."
Yep, that's what we're here for.
Click to expand...

So are ya gonna help little Susie get that scholarship or not?

Central-KY-Kid · Sep 29, 2012

ColdCat said:

Spoke with a golfer today who got invited to a big junior tournament with golfers from several different states. She mentioned at one point that she had some interest from D-I schools but no offers and said, "if you guys do a story on me, that might help my chances of getting a scholarship."
Yep, that's what we're here for.
Click to expand...

On the flip side, KY Sports Writer and I cover a girl on the opposite end of the spectrum. Next week will be her record 10th straight appearance in the state tournament. Four time Miss Golf in Kentucky (based on points earned in specific tournaments). Junior State Am champ. Women's State Am match-play finalist. Shot a 61 -- twice. Came within a stroke of a playoff for a U.S. Women's Open berth. And has committed to Florida State.

Every time she sees us, she is thanking us for not only covering her, but high school girls' golf in general. Always gracious and always quotable. We can send her a text message or call her and she'll get back to us the same whether she won the tournament or blew it with a double bogey.

Granted some high school girls' golfers believe we exist to be their PR firms.

But sometimes, on these rare occasions, you get to deal a genuinely good person who happens to be an elite golfer.

Baron Scicluna · Sep 29, 2012

Justin_Rice said:

I win this thread.

An actual email, from an alleged reader (with names changed to protect the innocent).

***

Hello,

I am not sure who I am suppose to contact in regards to my request, so I am emailing several reporters within the staffing department. I hope this does not cause conflict and I apologize up front if I am contacting the wrong people. Can you please give me some assistance and guidance.

This Saturday, 9/29/12, there will be a high school marching band competition held at Bumblefuck High School. I would like to do a special feature of this because my son's college marching band will be in attendance doing a special performance for the high school kids. My son, Little Joey, along with Big Stevie and Richie Rich are graduates of West Bumblefuck HS and alumni of WB Marching Yellow Hornets and are currently attending Upstate University and 3 of the 500 person Marching Fuckwads of UUniversity, who will be here on Saturday at Bumblefuck High to do a special performance at 3pm. You did a featured piece of my son, Little Joey, back in 2010-2011, when he being a graduate of Bumblefuck Marching Eagles went to London to perform in the New Years Day Parade held for the Queen of England with the Update State Marching Ducks.

Now the Ducks are coming to town and I think this would be a great opportunity to do a featured report of how important and impacting music and marching band is to our Bumblefuck Community and our kids. The Performing Arts of Music does not get enough recognition as to how important it is to our children and their future. My son, Little Joeyhis childhood friends, Stevie & Mary Jane are just 3 examples of the this.

What I would like to do and I will pay for this featured article if I have too but would prefer that it's news worthy enough for me not too, is have a reporter meet me at the competition on Saturday, catch the performance of Bumblefuck's performance then see for yourself the performance of Upstate University. See the impact to the all the kids who are watching. I would like to have the reporter meet Mrs. Cindy Lou, high school band Director of Bumblefuck to get a few words from her then meet the Director, Mr. JoeBob the of the Upstate University Band and get a few words from him as to why he takes his Marching Band to High Schools in the first place, the message he is trying to get out there for these kids and I can also arrange a quick meeting to
get a few words from a MIDDLE SCHOOL Band Director, Mrs. Gobbledeegook, who can give a few words to the impact of even the youngest of kids, where the introduction of picking up that instrument takes place in our school system in 6th grade and her role in that beginning process. This is perfect opportunity to see the chain of events unfold from 6th grade through college, the impact that this SPORT, ( it is a sport even though it's not fully recognized as one), time, effort, tears and sweat that goes into the years and years and years of practices and performing that these kids have done. Joey and Betty Sue are Juniors at Update University and Stevie a Sophomore, all three of these young accomplished adults that came from the Bumblefuck School system
have been playing their instrument of choice since the 6th grade, they started from the beginning and hung in there through all the work, all the practices, all the years, all of that hard work to find themselves performing with one of the top rated college Marching Bands in the United States.

I would like a featured picture to be taken, if I can coordinate it with the chaos of the day of Mr. Giggles, Mrs. MaryJane, Mrs. Whatshername standing with Joey, Stevie & Betty Sue, in front of the three band directors then in front of them, three Bumblefuck marching band members and then in front of them, three middle school kids, kinda like in a pyramid, show casing the generation from the youngest to what they become of the eldest, the director's. However, with the different time
schedules involved of all three bands, I will need the reporter to be in attendance from about 1pm to 3:30ish pm to get the picture and see the performances and get the feel for what this featured article is truly about. I will describe to the reporter during performances and Upstate U's performance of what they are seeing and how things work during this two in a half window of the reporters time and take the reporter to the director's for a quick interview in between the shows and i will try and coordinate this featured photo I speak of doing if at all possible.

That is a featured article I'd pay for to have in our community news paper. The dynamics from middle school directors, such as Mrs. Whosacallit through a college Director such as Mr. Whatshisname and the achievements of both the students and the Director's who as Bumblefuck so NOTABLY states as their modo works together, " AS ONE." All in the name of the Performing Arts of Music.

Who might I speak with or hire or whatever it is I need to do or talk to, to get a reporter for this. Again, I apologize if I am emailing the wrong place, perhaps direct me to the right person to speak with.

Thank you for your time and response,
Click to expand...

Crissakes, I got a headache just reading that.

And let me guess, they sent it to you two days before the "competition". Like you or the staff don't have anything better to do on a Saturday.

Mark2010 · Sep 29, 2012

ColdCat said:

Spoke with a golfer today who got invited to a big junior tournament with golfers from several different states. She mentioned at one point that she had some interest from D-I schools but no offers and said, "if you guys do a story on me, that might help my chances of getting a scholarship."
Yep, that's what we're here for.
Click to expand...

I had a player thank me once for an article and mention he had gotten a scholarship offer. It was a good story and the more people who read it.... well, fine with me.

I don't think I've ever done a story with the purpose of someone getting a scholarship. But chances are if the athlete is good enough to get a scholarship, he/she is likely worth a story, especially in a smaller or mid-size market.

HejiraHenry · Sep 29, 2012

It completely eluded a caller this morning that was have a complete listing of all college football TV games in our GameDay tab .... not in the regular section. It states clearly in the usual TV listings spot that the listings are there.

Sigh.

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