Dear dimwit on the phone

Some people are overly sensitive like that. I guess he feels insecure or something.

 

From today:
RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGG
Me: Sports this is Yodel
Caller: Uh, is this a wrong number?
Me: I don't know.
Caller: Is this (he correctly reads my office number)
Me: Yes, that's it
Caller: OK, this is a wrong number.
Me: OK
Caller: I'm sorry, this is a wrong number
Me: Who are you trying to reach?
Caller: Well, I met this woman from Belgium today, and she gave me this number to call her. This must be a wrong number.
Me: I'm not from Belgium, and I'm not a woman, so I would guess you're right.
Caller: OK. She must have written the number down wrong.
Me: OK
Caller: I'm sorry -- hangs up

 

Yes, the old here's my number (but there's no way in hell I'm giving you my real number), now leave me alone trick.

 

Dear parental units,
Yes, your daughter is on the college softball team. Yes, they played in a tournament last weekend. But it's fall ball. The season's in the spring. That's when your daughter will have her first official collegiate at-bat. Oh, and that tournament? Officially, it's a pleasant form of weekend recreation.

 

Doubled with the "I'm foreign" trick. That dude must be broke, ugly or both.

(As a member of the third category, I would know. )

 

You said it!

And you could change it from softball to tennis to baseball. Those seem to be interchangeable during fall sports.

 

Yeah, the only sport that crosses both fall and spring that really counts for much in the fall is golf, and even that is a bit of a stretch since the championships aren't until the spring.

 

"Sports, HanSen."
"Yes, can you tell me how to get this NBCSN channel the Podunk Tech game is on tomorrow?"
"Do you have cable?"
"No, I have a dish."
"You should call the dish company then."
"Oh, do you think they would know?"
"Yes, I think I know what channels they carry. Thank you."

 

We get those calls every fall with the juco program here. It was never a problem when the juco team had mostly foreign players and out-of-state players. But as soon as the new coach started recruiting local kids, the whiny parents we had to deal with for four years of high school started becoming whiny juco parents.

I finally told one woman, the third time she called to complain, "Look, the games don't count. I'm not going to waste a reporter, and space, to cover something that doesn't count and miss covering something that does count." That was the last time she called.

 

Honest to god, we had a woman come into the office today wondering why we were running NBA preseason scores but not the NHL. I almost didn't have the heart to tell her.

 

You could always just do this:

Detroit at St. Louis, cncl.
Colorado at N.Y. Islanders, cncl.
...

At least it would kill space! haha

 

Then some moron would come in demanding to know what "cncl." stands for ...