Dear dimwit on the phone

Dear Superintendent of neighboring county's schools:

Thanks for submitting the champions and runner-ups from each division of the charity tennis tournament you held last week. Seriously. You were fast and you sent them in small enough files to use, but not too large to bog down our email server.

However,

1) I seriously doubt you had two winners and two runner-ups from the women's open singles division. You probably should have double-checked who won what (since you, you know, didn't bother to send in agate or copies of the brackets ... only photos and cutlines)

2) Do you really think we care, or would even run, a photo of the breakfast hospitality table sponsored by Panera? Can't remember the last time a reader clamored for more donut/doughnut photos in the sports section.

But they did look good though.

 

Dear dumb ass Kentucky fan,
Thanks for calling my paper a piece of shit and me and my three coworkers idiots, simply because UK's EXHIBITION game against Transylvania wasn't in today's paper.

Yes, we got the UK women's game on page 2 because it ended earlier than the men's game. And yes, we had a Louisville story (... how dare we, right?) on the front page.

That doesn't give you free reign to call in and berate us, and trash our paper and writers.

But thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
KY

 

More like KYsportsHITLER! You monster.

 

Dear coach,
The paper that had the wrong time and date for the playoff game? That was the Bigtown Banner, not us here at the Podunk Shopping News. Take it up with them.

 

Or tell him OK.
Then tell him that, since his son has such a prominent place on so many teams, it would be absolutely impossible to write about any of them without mentioning the son. Therefore, you'll no longer be able to give his school's football, basketball or track teams any coverage. Further, tell him that since your readers will certainly ask why Very Good High's big game wasn't covered, you'll just have to explain to them -- or, better yet, write a column explaining it so you don't have to field a hundred calls and e-mails -- that it's because the coach asked you not to say a word about his son.
Or, alternately, the next time you cover them, go out of your way not to mention the son. Even if he throws for 400 yards and six touchdowns, talk about the running backs, receivers, etc.

The coach is standing up for his son, which is commendable, but he's doing it in the wrong way. He's trying to bully you. It's a fight you can fight, and can win. I've seen it a million times with angry readers. If you actually respond to them instead of standing there and taking it, they back down. Just stay on the professional side of things, don't let it get personal, and stand your ground.

 

This is a good idea. I'm interested to see how all of this turns out.

 

There was, apparently, an athlete at a local school here who self-imposed a ban on his name being in the newspaper. I'm not sure how this worked out since the previous SE dealt with it, but since I've been here, I just write my gamers like they're normally written and if he's part of it, he's just part of it.

 

Did that young man realize that he was costing himself a scholarship?

 

Thing is, he wasn't costing himself anything. It was the SE who complied and cost him the scholarship. LOL

 

Not sure which is crazier, the fact that a high school kid didn't want their name in the paper or the fact that the SE complied?

 

I thought it was odd, but since the kid never said anything to me directly, I just go with it. I am not sure if I would have complied or not, considering he is the quarterback this season. Last year, he was the best athlete, but didn't really dominate stat lines.