Dear dimwit on the phone

A former assistant editor and a former editor at my workplace would've listened to this complaint, then come over and ask why we didn't have the women's bracket in Monday's paper.

 

The next complaint I get about not running the women's bracket will be the first. Besides, too busy dealing with the annual "you did a story about Springfield softball and not Shelbyville, so you're biased against us" email ... a week into the effin' season! Dimwittery is strong in them Shelbyville types.

 

Awesome.

 

For us, it's a really good thing the women's bracket is not released until Monday.

Monday morning is the final day of the state boys' tournament, which means a four-page wraparound, plus the men's bracket double truck, etc.

 

Slightly edited, but a facebook post from a reporter at a nearby paper.

"A reader called to scold me for my review of [insert play at local theater]. "You upset the children (in the cast) because you said only some of them are adorable. ALL of them are adorable."

 

Should've responded, "Absolutely not. Jenny Jones is an ugly, ugly child with her braces, freckles and mangy red hair. Jim Smith is a tubby pudge of goo, and his brother John has weird-looking ears. In fact, at least a third of Miss Simmons' fourth-grade class is not adorable at all. Now, Miss Johnson's third-graders? Not an ugly kid in the lot. ALL of that class is adorable. Not your little fourth-grade monsters."

 

Dear Old Woman Kentucky Fan,

You're an idiot, and part of the reason most college basketball fans can't stand your team and its fanbase. You take offense with the following headline: Cards, not Cats, No. 1 in Bluegrass State. What part of that isn't true?

We weren't being "biased," as you called it, against your crappy ass team. The headline is a fact, plain and simple.

But go ahead and cancel that subscription, and call all your friends like you said you were going to do.

And no, ma'am, I didn't write the story -- it was written by the AP, but go ahead and keep saying how I'm an awful writer. Hell, the headline was the AP's too. But that doesn't matter to you, now does it?

Get a grip, lady, and stop calling us.

KY

 

Someone plays high schools on a Sunday?!?!?!

Never heard of that before. Although one place I worked did play the state baseball final on a Sunday one year. It came only after four days of constant rain delays and moving the game some 250 miles to get away from a never-ending monsoon.

But to schedule the finals of something on a Sunday?

 

Is Massachusetts the ice hockey finals are always on a Sunday.

 

Wow, interesting.

 

Same thing goes for Rhode Island. At least around here, there are only a dozen facilities or so in the state that you can have games or practice at. As a result, it takes some dedication at the smaller schools - Some of them practice at 5 a.m., before school starts, because you can't get the ice after 3 p.m. because that's when the local colleges have it.