Dear dimwit on the phone

Today's call: Father of 9-year-old who is a swimmer and has done "really well" wants to put his results in the paper. Fine, I say, send us an e-mail, let us know how he did.

"Can I proof the story first?" he said.

"No."

"Well, I want this on the front page. How much is this going to cost me?"

"You can't buy a story. That's not what we do."

"Well, this is important. I want him recognized in the community for all of his hard work and dedication. So, I have a right to demand how the story is written."

"Well, every youth result that we publish is important to those parents. They don't demand where it goes, and they don't ask to proof the story."

"Fine" *click*

 

Get 'em started early. The kid is nine. By the time he's 16 and playing varsity, dad will have learned how the world operates.

 

We got that call Monday night.

 

We run minor league standings for our in-state teams that are affiliated with the Major League ball club, and one year one of those leagues switched to a first half, second half winner with the win-loss records starting over again in the second half. Some old lady calls up complaining how we have the standings wrong. No matter what I said, she wouldn't believe me and kept saying that in all her years of following the league they've never had first half, second half. We even ran a story about it but obviously she never read it.

It's amazing (or rather, sad) to see how little it takes to shake some of these people up when it comes to sports, especially since they never seem to read the stories we run about said changes beforehand. Outdoor Network becoming Versus becoming NBC Sports -- it's too much weight for these people to handle!!!

 

Never overestimate the intelligence of your readers.

 

Today's e-mail:

Teacher in the local school district wanted to let us know that the boys tennis team was having their "big" 4-team invitational this weekend, and that they would "love to have us there" because "you really don't show a lot of support for our tennis team." She said she was only sending the e-mail to help out the coach.

A. We've covered the event every year since I've been here.
B. Her son is on the team.

 

Run photos of everyone but her son.

 

Although I tend to agree (and I assume you are kidding) I also wouldn't go out of your way to not run him. If he wins and smokes everyone, ya gotta.

 

He didn't. Lost every match.

 

"What channel is the NCAA championship on tonight?"
Me: Well, it's on CBS, but you do realize that game is tomorrow night.
"Oh ... so the game is on Tuesday?"
Me: No, today is Sunday.
"Oh, yeah, I see. OK, thanks!"

 

Today's e-mail: University of Iowa basketball fan upset at our coverage over the last five weeks of the season, especially at me, because I didn't write any stories during the time. "What kind of reporter are you?"

Um, probably because I had open heart surgery with five weeks left in the season, which explains my lack of work, and because we were left with 3 full-timers during the prep basketball tournament schedule, we couldn't go on the road with the Hawkeyes. Hope that answers your question.

 

Wait till they ask what channel CBS is. Had two of those.