Dear dimwit on the phone

Back in my day... Well, I think I (and my that I mean my mom) had to pay $20 or $30 for me to be on an all-star team, but I believe it was a league fee that covered things like umpires and insurance and what not. $1,300 is stupid, even if the kid is an elite prospect. I think most of the showcase leagues are scams though, since if you have tremendous talent, the word is either going to get out on you from high school ball, or there is this thing called the Internet now where you can post video.

 

But there are gonna be scouts there, right? And college coaches?

 

Every kid gets a trophy, and a $2,000 scholarship. Because most schools don't give out a full ride for baseball anyway.

 

I think I can top that, in football. Local kid trying to raise money to go to a combine, which, if he did well enough, would let him go to the national combine, which would allow him to play in a game on some cable channel lower than The Ocho ... but he would be on TV! I ran it as a brief, but was thinking the whole time, "Mom, there's a good juco program over in the next county where you'll yet much more exposure than from this group - and it's cheaper."

 

So this is getting ridiculous now: How can you have six national finals? I guess there's this outfit called Starbound National Talent Competition that hosts regional and national competitions, only the national competitions are held in six different places. It seems like this "win a national title that really isn't a national title" craze is just getting lazy.

 

Dear townball manager:

Thanks a bunch for stiffing my reporter last night and instructing your entire team to do the same after we covered you taking the lead in the Podunk Townball League standings in the last week of the season. I'm sorry his deciding to note your brilliant strategy of walking the winning run onto the bases intentionally at a tournament you lost a month ago hurt your feelings so much you didn't tell us you had a problem with it until last night, but it's not too much to expect us to give grown men the Little League treatment. Speaking of the Little League treatment, I hope your sponsor was cool with your decision.

 

Ah, the call I anticipated has just been received.

No, I don't really feel guilty about not mentioning the guy with the baseball school in the feature about the player he supposedly did so much to help. It appears all he did was make a phone call to an agent, who I also didn't mention, and that guy made another call.

Perhaps you should consider buying an ad for your baseball school in the local paper. Oh, wait... that's us!

 

C'mon, AD, when I asked for the team schedules, I meant all of them not just the league contests. I can't believe I have to clarify that. Also, same town rival AD gave me his coaches' cell phones along with the full schedules. Guess who's getting more love this season!

 

Dear dimwit from across the country,

Just because some sporting event you're interested in is taking place in a city far away from you, that doesn't mean you should call that city's newspaper every 30 minutes for updates. Considering that this event is on live freakin' nationwide television, have you considered turning on your TV?

 

We don't get TV out here in the Doomsday Castle.

 

Or underground in the Fallout Shelter.....

 

How did this thread fall to Page 3? ???

Especially when there has got to be a ton of callers lately completely confused and bewildered over Fox Sports 1!

Some angry douche called claiming that we deliberately removed a conference rival college football team from the betting line (even though they're playing an FCS team and FCS teams don't appear in the betting line) because we're a bunch of homers. He claimed we do this to said football team all the time. Doesn't even notice the other schools not in the betting line because they're also playing against lower-division teams.