Dear dimwit on the phone

You only cover us when we run out of toys!

 

Sounds like a freelance opportunity.

 

If I found enough dimwits, I could probably make more money doing that than being sports editor.

 

The board game aisle works just as hard as the video game section! All I see are stories about Xbox this and PlayStation that. Where are the stories about Connect Four and Battleship?

 

Screw that. What about jigsaw puzzles? They're not going to get scholarships because they never get mentioned!

 

You just covered one of the Parker Brothers and now you're costing the other a scholarship. FOR SHAME!

 

And Milton Bradley would like a word with you ...

 

Mrs. Mattel said her daughter Barbie was in tears because she wasn't in the paper. You fuckers have no souls.

 

Got a call earlier this week from a guy who was in a huff over a headline on our website that said Obama instead of President Obama. He claimed that it was disrespectful to Obama and made me look bad because it was a reflection of our newspaper's poor attitude. He believed that if we showed Obama more respect we'd have a better relationship with our advertisers and make more money. I'm not sure what his next argument was, but it was even more nonsensical to the point where he just stopped mid-sentence and hung up.

 

Mrs. Destroyer says her son is just as important as Mrs. Aircraft Carrier's son, even though it only takes him two hits to be sunk as opposed to five.

 

Did he show his respect and say "President Obama" while he was on the phone as well?

 

What about the models? They work just as hard as the rest of the toys and get no respect either! Just like cheerleaders!