Dear dimwit on the phone

He liked the NFL so much better before Fritz Pollard and Jim Thorpe came along and ruined everything

 

Do you think he consciously used the term "cotton-picking Seattle Seahawks football team"?

 

My SE swears he's not Kolchak and this was not on his voicemail.

 

Do you guys want me to post the audio file?

I've heard a wide variety of stupid things people have called in with over the years, but I don't think anything comes close to this rant.

 

Odds I'll get a one tomorrow complaining because we differentiated between kids who signed Letters of Intent and those who didn't get athletic scholarships but agreed to walk on? Extremely high.

 

I always loved the signing photos that would get sent in for kids who "signed a letter of intent" with a Division III school or the Naval Academy or other military service academy.

Always wondered what it is they are signing, since those places do not participate in the NLI system.

 

I am so tired of explaining the NLI concept... even to veteran sportswriters. We compiled a chart today, and colleagues were getting annoyed when I zapped Ivy kids, kids who had received (or were waiting for) appointments to service academies, and non-scholarship Patriot League sports.

I've seen Ivy kids sign letters that basically say they'll play a sport for the school -- if they get accepted in April.

The epidemic of fake signings even for legit D-1 kids is exactly why my paper stopped covering 'em. There were too many staged ceremonies when the letter had already been faxed. The last one we ever covered signed her name at the bottom of a blank sheet of paper -- and you could see that in the photos.

We'll post a brief about your verbal commitment on our blog, and write something short when you actually put pen to paper. But we're not going out to watch you do it.

 

You're costing them scholarshi....

...oh, nevermind.

 

I went to a "signing" a few years ago where the kid just had a blank sheet of paper and a pen in his hand. The kid was a preferred walk-on, and we were led to believe he was getting a scholly.

 

I SO want to post my signing day horror story from today, but I'm afraid I'll out myself if I do and I'm not sure that's a great idea right now. Suffice to say, psycho parents and unsupportive management are the current bane of my existence.

 

I've seen plenty of blank sheet of paper 'signings.' So far no one has gotten pissed at me for parsing words on those by going with "made his college choice" or "is part of ____'s recruiting class."

 

We had a football player announce he was going to West Point but the story focused on his desire to be special forces. Him playing football was secondary