Dear dimwit on the phone

Spartan gets turned on by that hot hoops action on Valentine's Day, and he's like an animal when he comes home to the missus. Like a primal beast.

 

Yeah, being held hostage to someone else's schedule is one of the sucky aspects of this profession.

 

I'm the same way. Too bad I didn't get home until 2:30 last night, the wife was sound asleep, and the only beast in the bed was the annoyed dog I had to shove off my pillow just to lay down.
Happy Valentine's Day in the Batcave.

 

I got home and seriously forked my wife's hot piece of meat. I felt my primal urges overtake me as I tore into the left overs in the fridge.

 

You do have a way with words. Never heard it put quite that way before.

 

If your wife's piece of meat is still hot after being in the fridge, the fridge's not doing it right.

 

Yeah, I sort of made you assume I reheated the food. My bad.

 

I really just wanted to use "you're not doing it right" in a post.

 

Hey, his fridge works just as hard as everyone else's.

Of course, mentioning the fridge but not the microwave shows you just how biased of a reporter he is and makes you wonder what his vendetta against the microwave is.

 

HEY! Just because the blender and toaster are on JV doesn't mean they don't deserve press too. You fuckers are going to cost them a scholarship and a chance to go to a kitchen with an island.

 

The big drawing card for appliances nowadays is granite countertops. Nobody wants their Keurig sitting on non-scholarship laminate, or D-II Courian.

 

Time for another trip down voicemail memory lane: