Dear dimwit on the phone

Nice. It sucks you can never think of responses like that at the time, right?

 

If he doesn't answer, maybe he's busy.

Call back at 3 a.m.

 

Dear parking attendant,

How does me having a state-issued credential NOT get me access to the media parking lot? Oh, I'm not on the list? Who is on this list and why has there not been a list at all prior this tournament? Thank you for making a stressful night even harder by your idiocy. I hope Santa gives you nothing but coal this December.

BN

 

A former stop provided company cars instead of paying us mileage. I had to cover a regional game and took a car, with the company logo plastered on both front doors.
I roll up to the parking lot lackey, tell him I'm there to cover one of the games and ask him where the media parking is located. He blinks, then asks which paper I work for and to see my press credentials while standing right next to the giant, door-sized logo of the paper for which I worked.

 

Just when you think you've found the bottom of the barrel the barrel gets deeper.

 

I'm a big fan of the exchange that goes:

Show me your credentials so you can park.
I'm going to pick up my credentials.
Well you can't park unless I see your credentials.
How am I supposed to show you something I can't get because you won't let me park to get them?

 

Came across a story where some lady called one drug store to ask for the address of a rival drug store, then showed up at said store to ask what the operating hours were for the rival store's pharmacy. In other words, it shouldn't surprise me when someone tries to return a Nintendo at the Microsoft Store, tries to use a bus pass on a taxi or calls a newspaper for troubleshooting with their cable provider:

 

i once had a co-worker ask a caller complaining about TV if they called the cable company when their paper didn't show up in the morning

 

I had a moment like this where I was in the car with a few photogs, so we had someone run out and get the credentials. BUT it turned out, those weren't parking passes. We got sent helter skelter around a cluster of college arenas until we found a table in the loading dock of one of the smaller ones where the parking passes were given out. It was beyond bizarre, especially since almost no one knew where the damn table was, outside of "at that arena."

 

Because comprehending automatic qualifiers is HARD!

 

No sir, you may not give me your high school golf match result at 10:45 p.m. Unless you're calling from Hawaii.

 

Coupled in the wagering with the boys tennis coach who emailed in his results from Thursday's match ... on Monday morning!