Dear dimwit on the phone

The apple caper is great. Reminds me of a baseball coach whom we always would have to call in the morning on deadline for his game results. Unfailingly, he'd give the results and audibly YAWN DURING THE ENTIRE CALL. There may be things more fucking rude than that, but I can't think of any offhand.

 

"have to call"? If the coach can't get his shit after the game...his loss, not yours (personal opinion)

 

I had an appointment to call a young NBA player for an interview, focusing on his college program because it was coming into our area for a game.
Called him, his stereo was blasting. I kept asking questions, he couldn't hear me and I couldn't here his answers. I yelled "Can you please turn down the stereo for 10 minutes so we can do this?"
He said, "Sorry, no."

 

His loss and that of some readers. It was easier and more fun to roust his ass out of bed than to explain to 120 callers why we didn't have the results in. Sadly, he never learned so we called and withstood his relentless yawning.

 

Dear swim parent,

Your son may have gone to nationals, and I'm sure you're proud of him, but there are a few reasons we won't be running a story.

1. We already wrote about him.
2. That story ran July 28.
3. There were two dozen kids from the other local swim club at the same meet who got less of a mention than your son.
4. Six of those kids medalled. Your son did not.
5. None of their parents ever called to ask for more coverage.
6. I politely told you no when you first asked about this three weeks ago.

 

Dear caller at 9:30 p.m. on a Friday night:

No, I do not have time to check and see if a shortstop at a nearby community college committed to a D-I program today. It's effing high school football night. Buh-bye!

 

Had a baseball coach call in one night. The whole time I hear him slurping his drink. Eventually he says, "Man, this beer tastes good." My response: "Yeah, sounds like it." There's a moment of silence, and he says, "Yeah, I'll bet that was pretty annoying, sorry about that."

 

Look, guy that answers the phone, I don't care if you've gone to press. If you were a good afternoon paper, you'd still have at least 90 minutes to change your layout, cut something else, and put in this posed team photo of the Podunk Princesas, who just won their first Abysmal Athletics League game to improve to 5-14, 1-7. All the good afternoon papers haven't printed yet, what's your excuse?

 

It's no wonder Podunk Princesas fans are turning to ESPN for their coverage.

 

Caller: Do you have the score from today's football game? (Which took place across the state and ended just a few minutes ago, and was on the radio)

Me: No, I was listening to the other games on the radio.

Caller: I guess I'll just have to read tomorrow's paper to get the score.

 

Took this gem yesterday:

Me: Sports, this is KYSW.
Caller: Since when did you guys stop reporting on high school football? I don't see anything on Friday's games.
Me: We haven't stopped reporting on those games, sir. We just moved them to their own section in the paper.
Caller: Oh, OK. Well where are they?
Me: Do you have Sunday's paper in front of you?
Caller: Yes.
Me: Do you see the sports section?
Caller: Yes.
Me: Do you see the section called GameNight? It comes free with every paper.
Caller: No, I don't see it. We must not have gotten it.
Me: It comes with every paper, sir, and is placed in front of the sports section.
Caller: Well, I don't see it.
Me: There's really nothing I can do then. I'm sorry.
Caller: Well, fine.

Click.

 

That's unfortunate. Stuffers messed up. You could've at least offered to mail him one or have him come by to get one.