Dear dimwit on the phone

Why can't she go by that now? I'm wagering that the local high-school rag didn't call him "Norman Esiason" in high school and he was known as "Boomer" at Maryland.

I had a girl about 15 years ago who wanted to go by her mother's maiden name instead of her real name because she was ashamed of how her father's side of the family was deep into drugs. Everyone called her by that name. In fact, I didn't even know it wasn't her name until she enrolled in college. If I had called her by her legal name in stories, no one would have known who I was writing about because she went by mom's maiden name in the program.

So what then?

 

Three reasons:

For starters, it sounds stupid. I don't want to open up my paper and see the name Shee-Shee in there unless it absolutely has to be and that isn't the case here.

In addition to that, we've been calling her by her real name for the last two years that she's been on the varsity team. I'm not going to all of the sudden change that and start calling her by a nickname. Would it cause some uproar if we did? No, but I just don't think it would be very professional looking.

Finally, I just don't believe in it. If I was working at Esiason's high school paper, I'd have probably called him Norman. Where do you draw the line? You get one Shee-Shee in there and the next coach sees that and says his junior guard Wally Williams goes by 'Spike' and would like to see that in the paper from now on. Next thing you know, you've got a bunch of Spike's, Shee-Shee's, Shanaynay's, Junior's, etc. I'll stick with my real names.

 

Dear dimwit,
The next time you call me up with a news tip about the SWAT Team in a standoff with someone in their house, using tear gas to get him out, you had better be fucking right. Crews knocking down a tree because there was a danger of it falling over in high winds is not a fucking police standoff!

Thanks,
Spartan Squad

 

CALLER: "How come you haven't had anything in the paper about XXXX?

ME: "We did. We had a story yesterday.

CALLER: "Where? I didn't see it."

ME: "On the front of the sports section."

CALLER: "Oh, that little thing?"

 

Hopefully the next technological advance for journalism is paper that can reach up and smack the reader right in the face. Maybe then they'd realize what's in it.

 

Reason No. 4 is that you will stomp your feet and hold your breath if you don't get your way.

 

This Spike doesn't agree with you...one bit.

Signed,

Been a 'Spike' since 1991. If a school puts it in their program and a coach and the player is ok with a nickname, and it's not offensive. Then what is the big deal?

 

I would go with real names. It's more ethically sound, and more people would understand who you are talking about.

 

I had this issue once at the one-man shop I worked at with bowling scores. Bowling alley owner kept putting in this one guy's name as "Rocket". I kept putting in the bowler's real name.

Alley owner complained, and gave the usual, "Well, everyone knows him as Rocket." I told him that I didn't, and that no one in the newsroom knew him as that, and that we had thousands of readers who didn't have a clue who he was and would be wondering why we were giving the bowler a nickname.

Same bowling alley owner also bitched about how I never would come down and hang out at his alley, unlike the previous SE, who he was best buds with. I told the owner that I had, you know, a sports section to put out, and that when I was off, I had other ways I wanted to spend my free time.

 

If the girl goes by Shee-Shee, then it's Shee-Shee. It's no different than someone named Michael wanted to be called Mike. Just because you don't like the moniker doesn't mean you get to decided to not print a 'weird' one while you print Mike, Jack, Zach, Abby or Maggie.

 

Dear callers,

I appreciate you thinking the paper has all the info, but you should call your utility provider to find out when your eletricity will be restored.

Sorry, we can't help.