Dear dimwit on the phone

Kinda wish I hadn't read that one, since I know I will use it one of these days should the situation arise.

And in keeping with the spirit of the thing [/dickiedunn]:

Dear youth soccer league pr type:
Just because you say you didn't know what the deadline for the weekly announcements are does not mean I'll run it during the week for you. If you get the paper or read it online, I put what the deadline is on top of the section, so it's hard for people like you to miss. Yes, I know there was just an overthrow in the youth soccer world perhaps challenged only by the Egyptians vs. Murbarak, but the deadline is still the same. If every other youth sports group in town can abide by the deadline, so can you.

 

Dear devoted curling fan:

Yes, I am aware the provincial curling championships are on. No, we are not having our one local reporter cover it. The event is being held far, far outside our local coverage area, features zero local connections and none of our wire services are providing coverage.

Instead you'll get a brief tomorrow on a local kid curling at a different bonspiel this weekend, plus three other local stories because that's all we can do with the staff we've got.

 

Dear local high school football coach:

Please teach your student assistants how to keep stats. Rushing yards don't start from the point the running back took the handoff. YAC isn't rushing yards because the receiver RAN with the ball.

It's not a hit just because the player made contact with the bat ... and grounded out to short.

 

Ouch.

 

Didn't know they allowed bats in football.

 

Changes the meaning of really hitting the hole.

 

I have kind of an opposite thing going on with one of my area girls' basketball coaches. He'll report the teams were 15-57 and 16-63 on their field goals and about 7-18 and 11-20 at the free-throw line. But he'll have about 40-45 rebounds for both teams combined. Tonight, he reported his team was outrebounded 24-19 but each team was about 15-60 from the field.

 

Could be worse, could have played against the team from The Last Boy Scout

 

Had one h.s. stat girl try to tell me every time the QB handed off to a running back it was a pass. I weeped.

 

Just wait until you tell her that an incomplete pass does not count as a fumble.

 

YES.

 

That may be worse than scorers who give baserunners credit for stolen bases even when its clearly a passed ball/wild pitch situation.

One game I read about years ago, a quarterback was given credit for an astronomical amount of passing yards. The local paper called the coach the next day to set up a feature. The coach asked the paper why ... seemed like an ordinary game. Turns out the stat girls had given the QB credit for a completed pass when he threw a pitchout. And that, my friends is why coaches do stats off video, our deadlines be damned.