Depression, Part II

What has been hardest for me is my continual jumping around.

First, school. Then first job. Then a couple more.

The bouncing around, much of which is my own fault, has made settling into a routine more difficult.

 

I think the jumping around is built into the business. We are all always looking to move up and typically, that means leaving comfortable situations (be it home, college, first job, etc...etc...).

The key is to find something small that you can go to or do whenever you begin to feel the demons coming on. Read a book. Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Watch a game. Treat yourself to something.

 

question for clarity, HB. are you kind of comparing this to smoking, as in you have to start a new (good, helpful) habit if you're going to quit an old one?

 

sorry, another side effect this time of the year...concentration hard to come by and you forget things like how to post properly...

Godspeed, brother. I type this to you in front of a SAD light. There are things -- be they drugs, special lighting, exercise -- that can help you. I pray you find them because I've been there and it's awful. You deserve better, and to echo previous sentiments, it's not your fault or anything deserved. It just is. PM me if you want additional insights, support, whatever I might be able to humbly offer...and I'll PM you with info. on SAD and light options.

 

I'm not a smoker. But if it helps someone relax, feel better about themselves and it holds off the demons, then by all means, fire one up.

Dealing with depression is such a hard fight, that you have to be able to find something that can help you.

 

i'm sorry i wasn't more clear. i meant, were you saying beating depression is much like beating smoking?

once you feel the clouds start to roll in (wanting a smoke) you go do something else, or change your environment, to help alter those feeling of depression (or need of a smoke)?

i'm not trying to beat a dead horse ... i just found your statement interesting.

 

In a way, yes. For me, the therapy and my anti-depressant have been godsends. But there are times when I'm alone and I need to do something for me in an effort to stave off the dark bastard. So, I might go for a walk. Or buy a hockey puck or a book or a DVD. Or get a massage. A small gesture to help me get out of my own head for a bit.

 

DoubleDown has it right HB. Spill it out. We're all here for you, buddy. To listen, help (if we can), and say a prayer (or lots of them). They do work, you know.

 

Not depression-related, but on the subject of mental health...

Here where I live (in a medium-sized town in flyover country), drivers are pretty careless, but they're not aggressive like they are in many places.

I've noticed a change over the past weekend. Lots of speeding on side streets. And three times in the past four days, I've observed someone, enraged that I was going the speed limit, tailgate me pointedly for a while, then roar past me in furious protest of my observance of law. Very out of character for this town. And no, I wasn't near a shopping center. I avoid shopping centers as surely as if they were above-ground nuclear test sites on Thanksgiving weekend.

So I offer this post just as a reminder for all of us to practice reasonable and cautious driving practices this holiday season- and beware of those who don't. However the holidays make you feel, good and/or bad, it's beyond dispute that Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice/Kwanzaa/whatever is best enjoyed from one's home instead of the hospital.

 

I posted this on the Subscribers Board, but I guess it's fitting on this thread.

In the past, a blowout like this would have sent me into a spiral of self-loathing and anger at the world for who-knows-how-long. Yet, 11 months of therapy and eight months of taking Celexa, and I'm calming down.

 

I have had that conversation with a parent. I have reattempted to have that relationship, a few times since; it hasn't worked.

At some point, you have to detach from your desire to have that type of relationship, because these type of things are two-way streets. If it happens, it happens. Enjoy it. If it doesn't, don't lose sleep over it.