Do you donate to your old school?

When I die, they'll get a few dimes.

I'm in no hurry.

 

Sometimes, but not at all universities. About 10 years ago I was getting early-morning calls from Washington University in St. Louis. Someone with my name was alumnus and they wanted him to contribute. I kept telling them I'm not him, take me off your list, don't ever call this number again. Still they kept calling. The alumni director told me the calls were farmed out to telemarketing companies and she couldn't control who they called.

After being woken up again, I was pissed. I found out the name of the university president and on the Internet I managed to find his home phone number. I sent an e-mail to the alumni director, cc to the school prez, detailing the alumni director blowing me off and I said that if Washington University ever woke me up again I would call the school prez at home at an hour convenient to me, say 3 a.m. The calls stopped. I do have to say the school prez was very cool, e-mailing me to say that of course I should call him if I am bothered again.

 

Hell no. If they wanted money, they should have convinced me to get a business degree instead.

 

I would donate, but have the feeling they don't accept rubber bands, hairy pieces of string or postage stamps.

 

Frankly, there's not a lot of extra cash around for us to donate to anything.

Plus the guy who was the head of the department at the university from which I most recently graduated, dear old Ohio U., was involved in a scandal that still gets brought up when I mention where I got my degree.

 

A small amount - under $50 most years - goes to my J-school.

I'm where I am today, in some part, because of my alma matter, so I feel it's only right to give back a little bit.

Plus, the last fund-raising drive offered me a chance to get my name on a plaque of donors for a specific project. How the crap could I turn that down? It can't be too long before they name a building after me, right?

 

Nope, since the Homecoming parade incident, I haven't given Dime One to Faber College...

 

Only when the moment really moves me. Even then, it's not enough to get my name put in the alum bulletin the school publishes every year. My logic is that I gave them every dime my family and I had for four years.

However, what really gets me on a rant is when I receive "capital campaign" letters begging for money for the school's "annual fund." The letters are signed by former classmates who, until they wanted a few bucks from me, didn't really give a damn what I'm doing with my life. The funniest part about the letters is that each classmate - I'll call one Danielle and the other Mandelle - writes these little notes at the end of each form letter that says, "Oh, Cougargirl, I hope you are doing so well, are you still writing about sports?"

Um, if you picked up your latest alumnae bulletin ...

 

I've given money to the journalism department a few times in the 13 years since I was a lowly journalism student, and made sure it was earmarked for the campus newspaper.

I categorically refuse to give any money to the university itself since I have an intense disliking for some of the members of the board of trustees, particularly the Fink whose bank bought out the land of a classic landmark that students had been going to for more than five decades and had his bank put a branch atop it.

 

My school didn't have a journalism department. All well and good ... I spent much of my spare time with the music department.

That's where I ask them to earmark my money - splitting between that and the marching band fund, where they need money to replace some old instruments, make minor instrument and uniform repairs, etc.

The booster club sent me stuff. It took every ounce of restraint for me not to sharply respond, reminding them of how many times they wanted stuff from us during my days in the music department and how we got absolutely nothing in return.