Esquire's "most gripping story you will read this year."

If I knew any saying remotely Welshian, I'd start an intra-UK flame war.

 

Meanwhile, I'd like to have shotglass and DD turn on each other, so a flamer war can start.

 

Oh, no my man. The Welsh are good people.

Just don't buy a holiday home there.

 

You would think after two pages of not getting any affirmation, you might get the idea that nobody thinks you're funny, thought-provoking or even remotely human.

Give. It. Up.

 

Welsh?

How about we all take a dance break

 

That's absurd. How could you not see I'm remotely human?

 

I would have preferred Delilah. So here it is.

 

You're trying to hold yourself up as being an innocent contributor now? Oh, my.

You pulled up one of the toughest moments of my life, an incident with my daughter three years ago. You are a vindictive enough person to remember this from three years ago and bring it up, even though my family is in a very good place right now, including my daughter.

No. You don't get to act like you're above the fray. You're human excrement.

EDIT: Understand this, people, just so you all know what we're dealing with here.

I had a difficult family moment three years ago. And Boom thought it might be something he could use to get under my skin at some point in the future. For all the world, it feels as if he has index cards on everyone's soft spots. He may have an index card on you.

No, don't give him any credit for having any human empathy.

 

That a kid. With gay inuendo introduced, we're creeping even closer to D-Day. Let's push through the finish. Tell me, how does it feel to know I could write circles around a knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, single-syllable stuttering moron like yourself? Does it frustrate you? Does it make you want to put on your old letterman's jacket and punch a couple of hippies at the local Dairy Queen?

 

That works for me. Sex Bomb is the wife's fav TJ song so that's what I thought of first.

 

We await Shotglass and DD to emerge from their closed-door meeting for their next attempt at wit: