Ever Hit a Deer?

I make my girlfriend blow one of those deer whistles while I drive.

It's good for her ambature.

 

Good thing you didn't hit a bear...

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2011/06/07/ottawa-bear-collision-luskville.html

 

almost hit one the other night. It was about 3:30a.m. and I was about 25 minutes from home on a long long road trip. I'm half asleep and look up and this thing is in front of me. I probably missed his hind leg by less than an inch. And you are right, it wakes you up. The 20 minutes before that I was just thinking how nice it's gonna be to walk in the door and drop straight on the bed...likely in the same garb I had on cuz I was that tired.
After that, I didn't fall asleep until about 6 a.m.

Girl I once dated hit one in a Nissan ZX back around 1992 or so. Totalled the car. Amazing how much damage those things can do.

 

Never hit one, but I saw one get hit last fall. Was driving on the Beltway outer ring in Maryland (between 95 and 270) after midnight. Somehow a young buck made its way to the leftmost lane and the compact car alongside me (I was 2-3 lanes over) completely took the buck's legs out. Car was doing at least 70. Legs went one way, the rest of the deer went flew over the car as it kept going. I don't think it stopped.

 

I tried to hit Rob Deer several times but kept missing badly. Finally, I connected, sending him flying a solid 500 feet.

Nope, never did. Slowly pursued a fawn on a gravel road once, because it couldn't seem to work out that it needed to go down the hill instead of up the sheer cliff. Oh, and a small bird once flew headfirst into my grill. Didn't notice it for a few days.

 

Twice. First time was while I was a college student in PG County, Maryland. Hammered the fucker with my '86 Olds Cutlass Supreme. It cracked the front right side of my car. The deer flew to the side of the road and looked pretty much dead when I went to take a look. Then I get back to the dorms and my friend (from St. Mary's County out near the Bay) was lamenting the fact that I didn't tie the thing to my roof and bring it back.
Apparently deer jerky is awesome. I didn't know (then...I've had it now and it is pretty good).

Second time, about 8 years later. I was driving in Western Maryland, taking a vacation from my job in West 'By God' Virginia. Fucker ran right into my lane on I-70. The thing ran onto the highway, got between me and a semi, then despite all attempts to avoid it, it runs right back in front of my car! Fuckin' Bambi...

THis time I had a bigger car--the '88 Crown Victoria'--and that bastard stood no chance. Rammed that SOB right into the median strip, and I just had a dented bumper.

I moved out west and haven't had issues with deer since. But I do also remember the story we covered at my station once about locals shooting at deer across an insterstate highway!!! Yeah, that kind of thing happened in the Mountain State.

 

I've had several close calls with whitetail and two hits. The first was on the way back from a game halfway acrosss the state. I was about an hour out and saw a convenience store ahead. I was tired and figured I'd stop, take a wiz and get some coffee to wake up. Then, something on my left caught my eye, it was a buck coming out of the median. I swerved into the right lane, but he had the angle on me and took out my left quarterpanel and put a big dent in the door. Thankfully, I still had to piss when I got to the gas station, but I really didn't need the coffee.

The other time was on my way to a game. I missed the lead deer, but got his tag-along. Same car. He hit almost the same place, but since I was hard on the brakes, he just got flipped up and over my hood. No damage.

 

Driving home from work late one night, I look up ahead about 50 yards and see three deer crossing through the median of the four-lane road I was on. There were two more coming, but I didn't see them until I got closer.

The big buck of the bunch started to cross just before I got to where he was, but decided to turn around and go back. He changed his mind -- again -- and I slowed down and prepared to hit him. The buck stopped in the left-hand lane and I came to an almost complete stop because the fifth deer looked like he was about to cross in front of my car.

The buck stood still and the other deer hesitated, so I increased my speed and got the hell out of there. The buck stood mere inches from the driver's side window. I'm glad he didn't decide to jump over my car or anything, and I'm damn glad I didn't hit any of the deer.

 

I once hit a pregnant deer.

Did I mention she was already dead? Hit by another car...which I'd passed on the way to my rendezvous with deceased Bambi. And the murder car had a cop behind it, taking an accident report. Yep, he was so busy filling out his fucking paperwork, he left the deer in the road so that I could hit it.

While driving a cherry Fiat Spider...which was totaled, thanks to the deer speedbump.

All happened while I was on a first date with a smoking hot blonde.

And my dad had to come pick us up.

Damn, I remember it like it was yesterday!

* actor portrayal.

 

I swear to God, you and westcoastvol should write a fucking buddy comedy. I'd see it.

 

All of you who have had encounters with a deer, consider yourself lucky.

Awhile back, a good friend of mine who was an assistant coach at my school was working part-time delivering some newspapers in his pickup truck on a rural highway when a deer darted across the road. He swerved to avoid it, but couldn't, and lost control of the truck. By the time help came, he was gone.

They named a softball tournament at the school after him and even though the accident happened almost 20 years ago, they still play that tournament every year. My current school played in the tourney last year and it reminded me of what a great guy he was. I still miss him.

 

Guy I worked with in Northern Virginia lost his wife a few years ago in a car-vs.-deer.

I had a deer hit me. Ran into the side of my car as I was trying to ease around a gaggle of them on the side of the road. The right-hand mirror got her, I suppose.