Fact, not Opinion: Mayonnaise is the Queen of Condiments

Agreed. But bread and hummus is a unique marriage. You order hummus, not pita bread. Chips and salsa/guacamole is the same way. I'm not arguing that bread is a condiment all the time, just that it's the accompanying piece to some things the way condiments are to most foods.

 

Guacamole is another one that can also be a condiment. I'm thinking of California burgers, and punching the heathens who eat them in the face.

 

That probably got you some assorted snot dressing, too. ... Never insult those who work your food, if possible.

 

I have a long-standing banter with this particular waitress. All in good fun.

I've worked in restaurants. I've seen the results of people being mean to their servers. I am never mean to servers.

 

It's also a condiment with a lot of Mexican food like fajitas and tacos.

 

Now you've opened the door to sour cream being a condiment. GODDAMN YOU.

 

Why don't we just say if it's in the condiment aisle at the grocery store, it's a condiment?

 

Then there’s Sriracha. Ten years ago, it was a doormat in its conference, getting blown out regularly by conferencemates Texas Pete and Tabasco. Then, all of a sudden, it’s everywhere as a solid mid-major.

 

I know some hobos who can squeeze you out a regular supply of that disgusting substance.

 

Perogies.

 

You guys are gross. All you need is Gulden’s for sandwiches and Cholula for everything else.

 

Worcestershire?

Chutney?

Tartar sauce?

Remoulade?

Aioli?

Tahini?

Wasabi?

Plum sauce?

Duck sauce?