Fantastic piece on a heartbreaking tale

Simon_Cowbell · Jun 4, 2007

HejiraHenry said:

SockPuppet said:

Combat deaths have never been more tragic than the ones created by the selfish bastards in this administration. I hope they all fry in hell.
Click to expand...

There's a whole side of the board for this sort of thing. This side isn't it.

It's good practice for the sort of professionalism you're supposed to be showing in your day job.

Though many of you can't or won't
Click to expand...

Thanks, board (right-wing) conscience.

Beautiful photography, also.

Melissa Lyttle is a buddy. Very proud of her, too.

Incredible package, and my hopes are with that young lady and child.

Simon_Cowbell · Jun 4, 2007

romano said:

Got a message from Ira this morning about some questions on the story. I feel really awkward doing this because it seems rather pompous, but I do appreciate the kind words and so I'll try to answer without sounding like an ass. (Or, some would say, sounding like myself.)

In a big picture sense, the story follows the outline very closely. What changed during the writing process were the Oct. 22 sections (i.e. the Iraq sections) that broke up the story.

We knew this was going to be a long piece and I was concerned with how to keep readers interested. At one point, we considered using Dave's journal entries between each section of the story but I dismissed that as too much of a gimmick. What I wanted was some sense of pacing or drama. I finally figured out I had talked to enough of Dave's colleagues in Iraq and had enough material from his journal to reconstruct the events of the day he died.

So, basically, I followed my outline to do the backstory and then interspersed the Oct. 22 sections to, hopefully, build some sense of impending doom.

And, no, I did not talk to resident Pulitzer Prize winner Tom French. I'm not even sure I'm allowed on his floor of the building.

Someone asked for Shelton's synopsis that I talked about on a Poynter Q&A. For those of you who read Gary regularly, you know there may not be a more talented person in our business. I often use him as a backboard, and this story was no exception. I even used a variation of one of his lines for a tease to the section. His email was long (insert desk joke) so I'll just offer a small portion of what he wrote:

"John, this is a wonderful-and-horrible story. Even reading the outline, it
is clear this is a young woman's life rushing at you all at once, the joys
and the sorrows, the love and the loss. It is a romance of misplaced
kids that turned into a war story that ends in sadness and of those fleeing
moments in between. It's a story about how precious life is and how rare
love is....''

As for editing the anecdote about Michelle's plans to attend an anti-war rally at Dave's base while they were dating, it was just a victim of circumstance. In the original outline, I was using that scene to set up the epilogue (in which I wanted to use Michelle's conflicted reflections on the war). Before I finished writing, however, President Bush visited CentCom in Tampa and offered to meet with Michelle's family. That changed the top of the epilogue. I tried working the anti-war rally in other places, but it felt forced.

Whew. I hope all of this does not sound too self-indulgent. Please understand, it is only because of the graciousness of your posts that I felt compelled to answer these questions.

john
Click to expand...

Tremendous piece and humility, sir.

Very illuminating.

andykent · Jun 4, 2007

romano said:

Whew. I hope all of this does not sound too self-indulgent. Please understand, it is only because of the graciousness of your posts that I felt compelled to answer these questions.

john
Click to expand...

And we appreciate you taking the time to do so. As has been said before, the posts were well-deserved and this type of work is what should give us all hope about the future of our industry.

Big_Space · Jun 5, 2007

romano said:

Got a message from Ira this morning about some questions on the story. I feel really awkward doing this because it seems rather pompous, but I do appreciate the kind words and so I'll try to answer without sounding like an ass. (Or, some would say, sounding like myself.)

In a big picture sense, the story follows the outline very closely. What changed during the writing process were the Oct. 22 sections (i.e. the Iraq sections) that broke up the story.

We knew this was going to be a long piece and I was concerned with how to keep readers interested. At one point, we considered using Dave's journal entries between each section of the story but I dismissed that as too much of a gimmick. What I wanted was some sense of pacing or drama. I finally figured out I had talked to enough of Dave's colleagues in Iraq and had enough material from his journal to reconstruct the events of the day he died.

So, basically, I followed my outline to do the backstory and then interspersed the Oct. 22 sections to, hopefully, build some sense of impending doom.

And, no, I did not talk to resident Pulitzer Prize winner Tom French. I'm not even sure I'm allowed on his floor of the building.

Someone asked for Shelton's synopsis that I talked about on a Poynter Q&A. For those of you who read Gary regularly, you know there may not be a more talented person in our business. I often use him as a backboard, and this story was no exception. I even used a variation of one of his lines for a tease to the section. His email was long (insert desk joke) so I'll just offer a small portion of what he wrote:

"John, this is a wonderful-and-horrible story. Even reading the outline, it
is clear this is a young woman's life rushing at you all at once, the joys
and the sorrows, the love and the loss. It is a romance of misplaced
kids that turned into a war story that ends in sadness and of those fleeing
moments in between. It's a story about how precious life is and how rare
love is....''

As for editing the anecdote about Michelle's plans to attend an anti-war rally at Dave's base while they were dating, it was just a victim of circumstance. In the original outline, I was using that scene to set up the epilogue (in which I wanted to use Michelle's conflicted reflections on the war). Before I finished writing, however, President Bush visited CentCom in Tampa and offered to meet with Michelle's family. That changed the top of the epilogue. I tried working the anti-war rally in other places, but it felt forced.

Whew. I hope all of this does not sound too self-indulgent. Please understand, it is only because of the graciousness of your posts that I felt compelled to answer these questions.

john
Click to expand...

Very cool...this board needs more interaction like this.

Thanks John

mediaguy · Jun 5, 2007

Great, great story, and I think the multimedia online is a model for how newspapers can complement a story with online-only elements. Nothing I've seen or read has given me the respect I now have for Memorial Day.

HeinekenMan · Jun 5, 2007

John,

This is an excellent piece. I don't mean to pummel you with questions, but I have two.

1. When you do this sort of piece, what percentage of your time goes to the big project and how much is set aside for other things? Okay, I apologize, here's a follow-up: Did you ever feel that you were putting too much time into it?

2. Did you make a conscious decision to limit various opinions on the war? Because I'm sure many of the people you interviewed were quick to defend the war or criticize it. I can see that popping up in almost any conversation.

Your Huckleberry · Jun 5, 2007

John,

Thanks for your input about the story. You did a masterful job. Nobody here thinks you are being self-indulgent. I think almost everyone here recognizes good journalism when they read it, and the reason we're here is to learn from one another.

Keep writing. I look forward to reading you in the future.

andykent · Jun 5, 2007

Your Huckleberry said:

John,

Thanks for your input about the story. You did a masterful job. Nobody here thinks you are being self-indulgent. I think almost everyone here recognizes good journalism when they read it, and the reason we're here is to learn from one another.

Keep writing. I look forward to reading you in the future.
Click to expand...

Huck,

Now was that so hard? ;D

This is why I wanted to keep this thread prominent, the interaction and good discussion, especially now that John has helped shed more light on the process

Your Huckleberry · Jun 5, 2007

Andrew, we all know you have a crush on John -- not that there's anything wrong with that. It's ok to admit it. We won't think differently of you.

andykent · Jun 5, 2007

Your Huckleberry said:

Andrew, we all know you have a crush on John -- not that there's anything wrong with that. It's ok to admit it. We won't think differently of you.
Click to expand...

Well aren't you just the budding comedian. :

And my mother is the only one who calls me Andrew, usually after I've done something bad.

Anyway, I think I'll refrain from posting on this thread for a little while and let it run its course.

Log in or Sign up

Fantastic piece on a heartbreaking tale

Simon_Cowbell Active Member

Simon_Cowbell Active Member

andykent Member

Big_Space Member

mediaguy Well-Known Member

HeinekenMan Active Member

Your Huckleberry Member

andykent Member

Your Huckleberry Member

andykent Member

Share This Page

Log in or Sign up

Fantastic piece on a heartbreaking tale

Simon_Cowbell Active Member

Simon_Cowbell Active Member

andykent Member

Big_Space Member

mediaguy Well-Known Member

HeinekenMan Active Member

Your Huckleberry Member

andykent Member

Your Huckleberry Member

andykent Member

Share This Page

Useful Searches