First date, post-divorce.

I'm almost seven years in now and still have zero interest in a full-time, serious relationship. Had 30-plus years of it and I like doing things the way I want and putting things where I want them, etc. If I want to go out, I can (and do). If I don't, no one makes me feel bad about it.

Also, Typefitter is spot on. I got zippy hair, I'm overweight (but not as much as I used to be) and I'm old af. It's still a wonderful world

Maybe someone will come along and knock me off my feet and change my tune. But I doubt it.

 

Just catching up with this. I did a lot of dating when I was younger. A relationship would always reach a certain point, and I'd find myself with a woman who wanted what most normal women want. ... wedding planners, then 2.5 kids. suburbia. It got to a point around 30ish that I felt like EVERY woman I was meeting or being set up with, was immediately sizing me up for the role, and I really was fighting it. I am still not sure why, because it's not as if for me the singlehood was about casual sex, or living my life, as you put it.

I am now going on 10 years with the same woman. For all intents and purposes, we're married. We even tell people w'ere married because it's easier to explain. But we have no desire to get married (although we may, but there is a very practical reason for it). The relationship developed a bit along the lines of both of us being cognizant of "each other's best sides." She is wired very similarly to me when it comes to commitment. It has worked well, because we both approached it as, "This is working. Just let it work. Don't overthink it. Don't push it to be anything it doesn't need to be unless it is working." That made it OK for her to move in with me, and for us to get another place to live and split time between two cities when her work took her somewhere else.

We've both kept our lives simple. No kids. With her biological clock ticking, we kind of needed to make a choice, and I am not entirely sure I made the right one. By the same token, at a certain point, I am not going to want to be 103 and chasing a toddler around anyhow.

 

Regarding how men dress. ... Ms. Ragu thinks American men are all slobs. I don't think I dress sloppy, and I don't own any cargo shorts for what it is worth. Even though my ideal outfit is black t shirt, jeans and a pair of high top chucks, I know I can clean up when I have to. One thing she points out to me (and take her opinion for what it is worth) is that even men in the U.S. who put on a suit, all wear ill fitting ones. And she's kind of right. By the same token, she thinks a man in a scarf (and I don't mean because it is snowing outside) can be stylish, and I find that ridiculous enough to make fun of endlessly. You see men in scarves way more than you can imagine in Europe. I am actually just glad that she likes me enough for who I am, and never tried to turn me into a dress up mannequin.

 

You do know why divorce is so expensive?


A late friend of mine did family law. He'd tell people, "If you're happy 50 percent of the time or more, stay put. Trust me." I told him that was WAY low. WAY WAY LOW.

Our kids were grown and gone. No child support, no spousal support. Pretty easy. I might have a different view had it happened when the kids were younger.

Just put in dinner. Didn't have to worry about leaving seasoning off half the chicken.

 

I have been in that scene. Totally relate. As a general proposition, Europe has been Americanifying, so people are getting fat there too, even if they are not quite yet at American levels of fat yet. Ms. Ragu's mom and dad are a little old couple, living a pretty rural area in the north eastern part of France. They watch the French version of old people television every night before they go to bed. There is one TV news magazine show every night on France 5, and whenever I am there, at least twice a week they seem to do a "Hey, let's gawk at the morbidly obese Americans" segment.

Also, it's easy to get caught up in the Euro-looking, stylish Euroish people thing in certain places in the major European cities, but the closest small city to where Ms. Ragu grew up is sort of in the French version of the rust belt, and whenever we go shopping there, I find the people just as scary as they have been in any Denny's or Walmart here I have been in at 3 in the morning. It's a slightly different vibe, more like you walked into a Felini film.