First date, post-divorce.

“June will give a brief statement before opening it up to any questions.”

(walking up and straightening the mic)

“Yeah, thanks to all of you who stayed around. I know 3 am is past your deadline. You get a high-scoring night like this and, when you’ve spent the week designing plays you don’t want it to end. Especially with the scoring struggles we’ve had the last few weeks.

“Jeff was at his best tonight. Ran the plays we called all night. No hesitation in the timeouts or the huddles. Had a really firm grip on the balls and didn’t see a lot of wiggle room on those balls.

“It wasn’t just what Jeff did with his arms but, at critical moments, he put his head down and got us to where we needed to go.

“Even with the rhythm we developed tonight with Jeff, we still needed him to help us come from behind. And he did. That was a big come from behind. All in all, we’ll celebrate for the night and get back at it on Monday.

“I’ll open it up to questions.”

 

LAZ-E-BOY TOWN, USA (AP) - The Carnal Conquistadors have cut Jeff George.

 

All those hours of talking, in clothes, for naught.

 

Last night was just too much.

Took her to a concert for a blues band. I can appreciate the approach of “I hate concerts but these musicians will do the work for me” (get her all aroused and stirred up for when it’s time to leave.)

Only her lack of affection nagged me. She was down for anything I asked but wouldn’t make a move. I never felt “irresistible” to her. Watching her watch the musicians revealed all… I’ve never seen her look at me the way she looked at those musicians last night.

I am living proof that some men are idiots.

The only thing that kept me coming back was that, well, she’s an “11”. (An Iowa “18”, if you will).

Last week she showed me her “portfolio” from 25 years ago. Yup, while I was a hack weekend sports anchor making $8/hour, she was a Victoria’s Secret catalog model for three years. Had the catalogs and a closet full of VS lingerie and robes from decades ago.

But now she’s broke, three dogs, two cats, on the verge of homelessness and fighting a horrible disease that may or may not cut her life short.

I craved her outward affection but she’s too cautious, which I can understand after a life of men who just wanted her for arm candy.

She warned me her life was a rollercoaster and it is. She told me I would want to get off the ride.

However, trying to make it work with her… just got to be… too much.

 

Sorry to hear that, Ex.

 

Holy shit. Jeff George got a camp invite as late as 2006.

Anyway, carry on. Or don’t I suppose.

 

She's Noah, only has eyes for Allie and no one else.

Or, you're Martha.

 

Sorry to hear. Sounds like you were very patient and understanding with her and there’s just too much baggage. Hope you both find peace and happiness.

 

Another one for the novel of my “Dating at 50” book, inspired by true events.

 

50 Shades of Romps in the Hay

 

“Flirting With Disaster”.