First-world problems

Oh. And so sorry to hear about your pain.

 

He's the hedgehog; I'm the Wombat.

 

I'm trying to get my girlfriend to kiss it.

 

I hope she doesn't rip off the scab!

 

You don't think your aunt would mind?

 

My aunt is a schoolteacher.

 

I spent a few days in California recently and my brother lent me his new German made luxury SUV for a day as I was in the market for a new vehicle. It was a V6 gasoline version that requires unleaded premium which, in Studio City, was 20¢ more a gallon than regular unleaded. I fell in love with it so I bought one for myself when I returned to Chicagoland. After owning it for a week, I went to fill-up my new vehicle for the first time only to find that the robber baron gasoline companies in my area charge 60¢ more a gallon for premium versus regular unleaded.

 

So apparently my co-worker (I'll name her Princess) was at the store last night, trying to hurry though before heading to her gym class. This lady came down the aisle and blocked her way, then wouldn't get out of the way. Total first world, but it gets better.
As Princess walked by, she muttered "Thanks for moving so fast," allegedly under her breath. But the other lady heard it and called her a pussycat.
Princess then decided the name-calling was such a first world problem she posted about it on Facebook. She surmised the "fat lady" must have been so jealous of Princess's petite figure she was intentionally blocking her. Princess also declared women don't call each other cunts and the fat lady thus deserved to be publicly shamed on Facebook for doing so. Princess also felt since she was saying something under her breath, fat lady wasn't supposed to hear it and thus had no right to get angry about it.
Princess took the post down, but defended her actions in the office and made it clear fat lady was 100 percent at fault. When asked why she would post something like that, Princess reiterated it was fat lady's fault and we've all posted things we later regretted, so we can't hold that against her.

 

I have no pity for a person who can't be bothered to say "excuse me." Also, unless there were two fat-asses from either side, couldn't she have just turned around and gone out the other way then return up one aisle over? That's my go-to move when I am feeling anti-social to not bother with an excuse me. Adds all of 15 seconds of extra walking.

 

No! The fat-ass is the one who needs the exercise!

 

Just how big was this ass?

 

The batteries in my universal remote died and I have to use three remotes to watch TV this weekend.