Firsts in your life

First MLB game: Sadly, I'll never know. Went to a number of games from before my first clear memories. No ticket stubs, programs or photos. (First game I remember: Twins at Orioles, sometime in mid-1987.)

First NFL game: 49ers at Falcons, Dec. 3, 1989. Montana/Young combined for 20-25. Lott and Deion both had interceptions.

First NBA game: Celtics at Bullets, April 17, 1988. Moses went for 24 and 14.

First NHL game: Oilers at Capitals, Jan. 2, 1988. Gretzky was hurt and DNP. One of the greatest sporting regrets of my life.

First NCAA FB game: Georgia Southern at Furman, Nov. 6, 1998. (I remember going to see "The Waterboy" most from that weekend.)

First NCAA BB game: Morehead State vs. Georgia Tech, Dec. 27, 1989. The old Kuppenheimer Classic in Atlanta. That was the year of the Jackets' famous "Lethal Weapon 3" trio of Anderson, Scott and Oliver.

 

First car: 88 (I think) Subaru hatchback. Abused that thing to death. At the end, no reverse or third gear. Never got it fixed where my lab instructor smashed it. Used the check to pay for a part time semester.
First cassette: Sports by Huey Lewis and the News.
First alcohol: Champagne at my uncles wedding when I was about 8. Since then, never puked, maybe two hangovers max.
First pro game: Riverfront Stadium. Watched the Dodgers put up 10 runs the weekend of the Marge Schott earring blowup.
First "big boy" assignment: FSU football hosting UNC in Tallahassee. Crappy blowout.
First house: This one, Christmas 06. We may have been the last couple in America to get a zero down mortgage.

 

First cig: Stole a pack of the gay Father's Chesterfields, or whatever they were. He left 'em at our house when administering the last rites to my Alzheimer's stricken grandmother ... who died like 2 years later. Took a walk up to the elementary school, lit up. Why do people do this shit? Fast forward 25 years later ... why do I still do this shit?

First time I got stoned: With Stephen, Stacy (RIP) and Aster, the Italian exchange student. Went out in the middle nowhere then rode back into town to go bug our friends working at Walmart. For some reason, the Mounds and Almond Joy variety pack was the funniest damn thing I ever saw in my life.

First concert: George Carlin standup on the campus of UNA when I was 15. We got a lot of mileage out of the 'Bush, Quayle, Dong ... someone open a window in here' joke on the ride back home, embarrassing the hell out of our uptight friend. (His parents drove us to and from).

First fight: JJ the Dickhead. He singled me out early on in middle school, probably thinking I was the only person whose ass he could kick. Behind the SuperX, sophomore year. About 20 people watching as I danced around for 10 minutes running my mouth. We both landed some glancing blows before agreeing to leave each other alone. Ultimate fighting it wasn't.

First F for a semester: Bombed the living hell out of Advanced Math. No soccer for me that spring.

First kiss: Emily the cheerleader. Not sure why she liked me. I was 15 AND A DOOORRRRRRRRKKK. Hadn't even sniffed a plate appearance let alone second base up to that point. Thirty minutes of making out and all of a sudden, she wants to go for a walk. Can ya give me a few minutes? Awkward as hell.

 

First song on MTV: "Don’t You Want Me" by The Human League

First booze to get me puking: I don’t drink

First car: 1973 Plymouth Scamp (Plymouth’s version of the Dodge Dart)

First job: Third generation antiques and collectibles dealer. Started as a child.

First job with a W-2: Medical records clerk at a hospital

First pro sporting event: Detroit Jr. Red Wings vs. ? at Olympia, 1974. It was a fight marred game straight out of Slap Shot. I attended with my Cub Scout pack and one of the fathers acting as a chaperone got drunk and attacked the other team’s bench. A full scale brawl ensued and Detroit’s finest were called to break it up. Till this day it is the greatest sporting event I ever attended.

First MLB game: Tigers vs. ? at Tiger Stadium, 197?

First USFL Game: Tampa Bay Bandits vs. Birmingham Stallions at Tampa Stadium, 1985.

First NFL Game: Lions vs. Eagles at Ford Field, 2007

First CD: Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, “Savvy Show Stoppers”

First computer: Atari 400 in 1981.

 

First MTV video: "Stepping Out Tonight," Joe Jackson.

First car: 1971 Dodge Dart Swinger, KIA one night driving home from seeing The Firm in K.C. with our Italian exchange student, Federico. Cows all across the road will do that to a car.

First drink: Homemade strawberry wine during a dance the summer before eighth grade. Or maybe a beer from my uncle after hauling hay.

First concert: Rush, 1986, Kemper Arena.

First job with paycheck: Picking green beans for local farmer.

First baseball game: 1973, Busch II vs. Reds.

First NFL game: 2001? Steelers at Chiefs.

First NHL game: 1999? Blackhawks at Blues.

First NBA game: 1984, Lakers at Kings (K.C. version).

First worst college football game: Anything from 1986, Woody's Wagon.

First nationally known college football game: Fifth down, and fuck Bill McCartney, Charles Johnson was down before sticking the ball in the end zone.

First album: "Hotel California."

First 8-track: Something by Jerry Clower.

First cassette: "Don't Say No," Billy Squire.

First CD: Seven or eight, came with a CD player I bought from a friend. Best of the lot was Lou Reed's "New York," 1989.

First J job: Wrote two stories for The Maneater, 1987? One was published. It pretty much sucked.

First best story: The next one, always and forever.

First time seeing "Blazing Saddles": Drive-in theater in 1975 or so. Didn't understand it then, of course.

First movie without parents: "Jaws," mid-1970s with a cousin.

First time in love, puppy variety: early 1970s with girl a few houses down from my grandparents. Swinging together in the hammock made my stomach flutter.

First time in love, adult variety: 1993.

First time I got love right: 2007

First marriage: April 28 this year, with girl from 2007.