Five-ring circus: The Thread of the XXXIII Olympiad

I'd go with a cyclist.

 

Is Killy still alive? Plus, he's a winter guy. Does that matter?

 

Tony Parker.

 

Gonzalve Bich.

(He's the current CEO of Bic Lighters.)

 

So 200 nations, 85 boats, sure you can fill up a few with the smaller delegations. But weird that the athletes won't even walk. As spectacular as it will be, it's going to be weird - right? Very French?
Just hoping its a safe couple of weeks in France. The way the world is today - its a coin flip.

 

The gendarmes are crawling all over Paris. That should thwart any big attacks, but no telling what a disturbed loup solitaire might do.

 

How much benefit would you get from spying on a soccer practice? Really? It's the ultimate "Jimmy and Joe's not x's and o's" sport.

 

Canada's men's and women's soccer teams have relied on drones and spying for years, sources say | TSN

Gonna take an Olympics TripleJoke here:
1. Canada had to cut corners strategically after the default strategy of "get pucks to the net" was found faulty here.
2. I'm guessing they wanted to film the USWNT but had to do it north of the border for lower taxes.
3. How relieved do you think Rick Westhead was to hear that this story was just about drones?

 

Killy is still alive and a rather powerful IOC member after he basically ran Albertville in 1992, but he's 80, a winter guy and probably too much of a high muckety-muck.

I took a crack at this question a couple days too early several pages ago.

It's kind of weird how France is a very legitimate sports nation (fifth-most golds, fourth-most medals), but it's very hard to name a French Summer Olympian of recent vintage. In Albertville, the final torchbearers were Michel Platini (who is now persona non grata after taking bribes at UEFA) and a little kid. (Also, the torch looked like a Subway sandwich painted blue and the lighting was clearly faked. You can pause the video.)

Anyway, here's my odds:

Unknown person: +250
Florent or Laure Manadou (swimmers, siblings, both youngish, good looking and have won gold medals), +400
Marie-Jose Perec (first person to win the 200-400 double, in 1996, but she's actually from Guadeloupe), +500
Claude Makelele (most famous French footballer who's actually played in the Olympics and synonymous with the defensive midfielder position, but that's kind of like being a famous offensive lineman), +600
Jeannie Longo (female cyclist, been to seven Olympics, would probably be the odds-on favorite except she's got all kinds of doping stink on her), +800
Zinedine Zidane or Kylian Mbappe (the 'fuck it, we need someone really famous' call), +1000

Edit: The Athletic did a similar article, they mentioned Parker, who I'd say is a good +500 (played in two Olympics, never medaled), and also the futures pick of Victor Wenbenyama, which I'd put around +1000.

 

Oh yeah, I buried the lede. No. 1-ranked Jannik Sinner isn't playing. Withdrew due to tonsillitis.

https://apnews.com/article/olympics-2024-tennis-sinner-4209ffbe7f2dcd3599c4555647173b8f

So Djokovic is the No. 1 seed, Alcaraz No. 2. Women's No. 1 is Swiatek -- the overwhelming favorite -- Gauff No. 2. Gauff is the top seed in doubles with Pegula.

 

I don't think you know what you are talking about.
Read this piece on the tactics involved in just the goalie kicking the ball down field.

Five years of the ‘new’ goal-kick law - this is how it has transformed football