FSU's cowgirl celebrates her birthday on SI.com

Until this year, I think I may have had one other big birthday party. (I was five and it was a Little Mermaid theme.) Birthday parties were just something my family never got hooked on -- usually a small family get-together shindig. This year was going to be different, and why shouldn't it be? After all, I am turning 23 this Wednesday, and that's almost 25 and that's close to 30. Damn. I feel old.

This is fucking brilliant.

The great thing about Cowgirl is she gives Simmons somebody to look down on. I can just imagine him saying, "what is this business coming to when a no-talent hack like this gets a regular gig?"

 

You laugh, but the introspection -- not to mention the mathematical skill displayed -- is awe-inspiring.

 

Sterger isn't even the hottest girl in her circle of wanna-be Paris Hilton bar tramps friends.

 

I wouldn't fret much. She's only 10 years from being married to some business-school sleazebag who starts rampantly cheating on her the minute she turns 30. Then all she'll have is an empty McMansion, a cookie-cutter SUV and an addiction to pain pills/anti-depressants to get her through it all. Then we'll see how fun it is to be stylish over bringing something of substance to the table.

But I wish her the best.

 

Two thoughts:

1) This is really, really mean. Seriously...That's a hell of a lot of hostility toward a girl who's just another airhead, albeit one with a remarkable streak of luck.

2) Hell, I'd take the McMansion and the SUV and the pills...If I'm still a sportswriter when I'm 30, I likely won't be able to afford any of that. And I'll be single. And for the record, I won't be as good-lookin' as her, fake or no.

 

Remarkable streak of luck? Or determined willingness to peddle her assets?

You make the call.

 

I say "potato," you say "attention whore."

Whaddyagonnado?

 

You might say it's mean. But I have little patience for image-driven people who inflate their self-esteem on things like fake breasts and races for material goods.

So you're good-looking. Great. What else you got?

 

Gotta agree. SI is giving her the stage, but she's the trained monkey in this act. But she's like anybody else her age ... just trying to carve out a place for themselves. It just so happens that society sadly glorifies the narcissism and idiocy that she has in spades.

 

Fixed

 

She already looks about 30. And when Cowgirl is 30, she'll look about 45.

 

She saw Webby around campus and ran. ;D