Gambling Thread

It’s prom day for my youngest. The gf (yes, Ms Ottoman) flew down and she’s helping my daughter get ready. I’m sent out for safety pins and elastics for hair.

I realized.

I can find a half time correct score / full time correct bet on a Serie A game in 30 seconds with five different books but I have no idea where to find these things in a Walmart.

Daughter already had the line of the day.

“This sucks. It’s prom night and, for the nine hours I’m out of the house, my dad will be getting more action than I will tonight.”

Me: “dems da breaks, kid.”

 

I should hope you’re getting more action the other 15 hours as well.

 

One of my last parenting acts tonight, picking up three girls (daughter and two of her friends) from some post-prom party.

Of course, I got pulled over a mile from the party.

Daughter is in the front seat. She confessed to having a sip of seltzer to me and “didn’t like it”. Her two friends… probably had four or five each, according to my daughter. They were sloppy and loopy.

The officer, politely, has me get out of the car. I tell him what I know — I’m just trying to get everyone home safe. Then he has my daughter get out and talks to her.

“I’m not going to cite the two kids in the back for underage driving but your car smells like too much perfume and too much alcohol. If your daughter didn’t have her dad being the taxi driver at 2 in the morning, they’d be in trouble.”

He looks me in the eye.

“Thank you for taking care of them. It means we don’t have to call their parents tonight if something terrible does happen to them. Have a good night.”

Plus I got a lot of action before.

 

Awesome story. I'm now envisioning driving my daughter and her friends home from prom. Which, as fifth-graders, they are basically halfway to attending. *shrieking emoji*

 

Okay, back to the important stuff.

Kings to lead after first quarter, Warriors to win game.

 

There are no homer-based SGPs available for Giants-Padres on FanDuel. I wonder why!

 

Be happy. SGPs are the devil’s bet.

 

Yup. They’re horrible. Of the tens of thousands of dollars I profited on my journey, I probably barely broke even on SGPs. Too many moving parts.

 

I’m kind of freaked out by the casual mentioning of sex by your daughter — yours and hers.

 

Hmmm …