Gary Smith on Joba Chamberlain

Here, here. I learned a valuable lesson years ago to, most of the time, let the story come to you, rather than the other way around. Sometimes simple is better. I think a lot of newspaper folks benefit from picking their spots and not trying to process everything they write through the same blender. And if that's good advice for a newspaper drone, I think it could apply every so often to a magazine writer, too. It's the old "don't try to hit a home run every time up'' thinking.

Filter out half of the "voice" in something like this Joba story and I don't think we'd wonder about Gary Smith "slipping," if he still left us with a great tale that stood on its own merits. But give it the usual Smith treatment and we feel like we've read it before, and that the style gets in the way of the substance.

 

I'm shocked ... SHOCKED! ... that that would be your take!

 

Even though I'm a fellow La Salle alum, I must agree: the lede was over-the-top. You shouldn't have to wade through six graphs for the lede. The third, fourth & fifth graphs were especially over-done, but I realize what Gary is trying to do. The ending threw me for a loop, too.

Yeah, I have a response; HUH?????

Enough of the nit-picking, though. Everything in between was amazing. I could feel a lump in my throat and my chest getting a little tighter with every page. Damn, it really is ridiculous how good Gary is at tugging at one's heart-strings.

 

I had to read the last sentence a couple of times, too. I guess it's something along the lines of how great it feels to get everything you've been waiting for. I bit pretentious, but, as you said, middle parts were great.

 

Because most of us here could neither locate nor lift - to say nothing of carry - Mr. Smith's jock, I'll say this guardedly, and with all due respect to the relevant parties. It's not enough to say something is "overwritten" - without knowing why, or whether, it's been "underedited."

 

Don't quite understand what that means, jg.

 

Hi spnited --

I think the lede we posted here would be twice as good at half the length. To me, that's at least partially an editing problem. A writer like Mr. Smith needs an editor - a strong editor, an editor to whom he listens and considers an equal partner in his work - to help him shape his stories. Someone to disagree with him. Someone to argue him out of his excesses. Someone to say, as in this case, "I see what you're trying to do here. But right now this lede repeats its central conceit eight times. It's a much more effective lede if you repeat it only four."

Every writer of Smith's talent needs an editor at least as talented. And every writer of Smith's stature needs an editor willing to go toe-to-toe with him - reputation notwithstanding - on every point.

I'm not sure Mr. Smith is getting that kind of edit.

 

Equal partner, equal stature, at least as talented = equal paycheck?

 

I was a little confused by the ending.
Several paragraphs above the finish, Smith writes that Joba's father is at Kansas City's ballpark watching his son.
But the ending says "...and thundering now in these late-summer skies over Yankee Stadium."
Did I read this too literally? Because then it's a mistake to write Yankee Stadium.
Or is he trying to tie back into the lede?

Signed,
Confused (not for the first time)

 

I support the anti-Smith faction on this one. As others have mentioned, read the S.L. Price piece on Mike Coolbaugh if you want to see great writing in SI.

Price makes the story about Mike Coolbaugh.

Smith, as always, makes the story about Smith. With his tricks, which have become tiresome.

Of course, I know he's a tremendous writer. But I find his stuff WAY overwritten and I don't enjoy reading it.

The man is immensely talented. I just wish he'd pull a different club out of the bag once in awhile.

 

For the first time in a long time, I stopped reading a Gary Smith story after the first few grafs.

 

I thought it was another winner for Smith.

The lead and the ending were both marginal -- in my opinion -- but everything in between was definitely worth savoring. If I'm enthralled by 90-95 percent of a story, I'd consider that a huge success.