Gripe session: Bad PA guys

There was this football PA guy who thought he was supposed to do play-by-play, including making remarks about the visiting team such as, "And Shitstain Tech fakes the reverse!"

 

Wouldn't a buttfuck actually bleed red?

I like it when the PA guy just gives the number of the player who scored or commits the foul. It's like the kids are a Gannett employee or something.

 

I remember that guy. Horrrrible.

You Cal League veterans will remember the tool that was David Achord, the former San Bernardino Spirit and Rancho Cucamonga Quakes PA guy. On top of being obnoxious to the nth degree, he hated print guys because we'd always take shots at him, especially after he got ejected from a game in San Bernardino for popping off to the home-plate umpire about some call.

Hank Stickney, the owner of the Quakes, loved this guy and kept foisting him on everyone. He overstepped himself when he bought the Las Vegas minor-league hockey team and brought Achord in -- whereupon his minor-league schtick turned everyone off instantly and he was ripped mercilessly. Stickney had to finally relent and remove him.

 

One of the New York Collegiate League summer teams...a Division I league...had this announcer that every time a ball went out of the park, would play a breaking glass sound and it would be an advertisement for the local glass repair shop.

By the fifth inning, I was ready to hit him over the head with a window pane...and there was still two months of season to go.

Once or twice, OK...but every time?

Especially since the same people are at every game. If I ever need glass work done, I'm NOT going there.

 

Area high school basketball game, about two or three weeks back. Sitting in the bleachers, one row behind the table for a girls-boys basketball doubleheader (I always like to be close to the official scorekeepers in the event I happen to miss a basket), and directly behind this school's new p.a. announcer. Not a bad routine, typical homer, but that's high school basketball. I did p.a. when I was in high school and always tried to play it up for a little more home court advantage.

Dude carries on every now and then, but goes over the top with the 50-50 drawing. He promotes it throughout the girls' game, time and again during the first half of the boys' game, then turns it into a five-minute production during halftime. "This is not rigged ... She is picking a random ticket ... I want to win as much as all of you." Girls pulls ticket. Announcer wins. "Oh, my God! You're going to hate me! I won! I won!" Carries on throughout the first three minutes of the second half. "You're going to hate me even more, but I just won $140! Yep, I won!" Ignores game. Cynical part of me wanted someone to follow him to his car and mug him.

Just stupid.