Halloween costumes: How much is too much?

Six years ago, I was supposed to hit a costume ball at someone's house, and didn't have a costume.

Bedsheet (no, jackasses, I wasn't a Klansman). Holes cut out for eyes.

Worst. Ghost. Ever.

 

I will be the same thing I've been for the last 13 years: An ugly, white dude.

My progression was a simple one. At 8, I was a football player. At 9, I was Rickey Henderson. At 10, I was a Mets player. At 11, I was what turned into Rick Peterson, some schmuck walking around in a Mets hat and a Mets jacket. At 12, I went out as just myself. At 13, I hung up the cleats.

 

I bumped this up because it's almost October.

Dr. J and I are thinking of going as a pregnant nun and a priest. I'm non sure who will go as who.

Are we going to hell?

 

Last year, a buddy of mine (who is male) went as a female women's basketball coach. Heels, horrible suit, a wig. Hilarious.

I had to throw mine together at the last minute, so I was a priest (cliche, I know). But as a twist, when people I didn't know commented on it, I said "What costume?" It caused some hilariously awkward moments. I never told some people I was joking, either. I'd just say "God bless you" or something and walk away.

 

And before anyone asks, yes, I begged and pleaded for my girlfriend to dress up as an altar boy. She wouldn't do it.

 

I'm going to go as an Eagles' offensive lineman. I'll just walk anyone in blue go right by.

 

Wouldn't dressing as a slice of swiss cheese be the same thing?

 

I once wore a white shirt, silk rep tie, nice suit jacket, argyle socks, tassel loafers, no pants and carried a fifth of Boodles gin.

Best. Ted. Kennedy. Ever.

 

I'm going to a costume party as Ron Burgundy this year, and my girlfriend is going to be Veronica Corningstone. You stay classy, trick or treaters.

 

I'm planning on going in full-on New Orleans Saints garb, face painted in black and gold. I'll walk around the party all night saying, "What? I'm a year late?"

 

I think I'll just wear my Dorothy costume again. But if by some freak of nature it's really cold that night I'll wear my Pooh costume.

 

My old roommate and her friend did this one year, with some dude dressing up as the Pope. Was hilarious.