Happy 5th Birthday SJ!

I dunno, but will you stop by Nashville to pick up Charity on your way to this party?

 

Well, between the fact that some of Bobby Clarke's favorites may try to drop by and the folks on this board who like to take cheap shots, that goes without saying ...

 

ZING!

Well played doc

 

Bobby Clarke's favorites?

 

It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong. I don't worry about message boards. I leave that to others such as yourself.

 

Shit, Harris.

 

Pick any of his bad re-creations of the Broad Street Bullies - complete with lack of goaltending - that never could skate or score ... plenty of cheap-shot artists ...

 

I'm bringing Keith's!

Are we using boots for goalposts?

 

Nope. Goalposts are far more useful. And intelligent.

 

All right ... I have to know which stick to bring ... ice or street?

 

Are we using boots for goalposts?
[/quote]

I'm not defending given this set of posts ...

 

Ladies and gentlemen of the sportsjournalists.com class of '07:

Use toothpaste:

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Colgate toothpaste would be it. The long-term benefits of toothpaste have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your posts. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your posts until the thread has been locked. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at posts you made on the Anything Goes board (hi Flash!) and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how LOL you really sounded. You are not as boring as you imagine because you did GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT!

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to get into the NIAFL league - it ain't gonna happen. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 am when it hits you that you never finished on her grille.

Do one thing every day that lasts at least 8 seconds.

Drink pink frou-frou drinks.

Don't sell knives and expect to be the Dolphins beat reporter. Don't put up with people who are good enough to work at the Plain Dealer, dammit!

Floss.

Don't waste your time on threads without pictures. Sometimes you're a running-all purpose thread, sometimes you're five-post wonder. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself so Let's All Be Careful Out There.

Remember PMs you receive. Forget the people who never PM you back. If you succeed in doing this, don't tell Ryan Sonner - he already knows.

Swing that shit wide open. Keep asking When's Junction Boys on again.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what day Steak and BJ Day falls on. The most interesting non-sports journalists I know post on the Subscriber board. Some of the most interesting sports journalists I know still don't.

Get plenty of ATM. Be kind with the quote function. You'll miss it when it's gone.

Maybe you're hired, maybe you're not. Maybe you'll get bootsed, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll get some baked chicken, maybe you'll tell the truth unlike Mitch Albom. Whatever you do, don't Post Pad too much, or fetch too many beers either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your screen name. Use it every way you can because you can't change it anymore. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own, until Webby adds USF stars.

STFU, even if you have nowhere to do it but logging into SportsJournalists.com from your cell phone.

Practice the shocker, even if you're gay -- not that there's anything wrong with that.

Do not watch Snakes on a Plane. That will only make you feel like a motherfucking loooser.

Get to know your moderators. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your fellow SportsJournalists.com Canucks. They're your best link to the North and the people most likely to still follow the NHL.

Understand that SportsJournalists.com buddies come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in boardcest, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were a newbie.

Live in Tahoe once, but leave before you can't find it. Live in Antartica or Hawaii once, but leave before it makes you soft. Literally.

Travel to SportsJournalists.com outings.

Accept certain inalienable truths: JDV will create YouTube vids. Fenian will post political threads. You, too, will find your vitriol. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, JDV was entertaining, politicians were noble, and DTGDTN was a phrase you didn't have to hear often.

Respect your sage elders; casty, spnited, and JR.

Don't expect anyone else to provide Dr Pepper Lip Smackers. Maybe you'd hit it. Maybe you'll meet Rachael Ray. But you never know when either one might happen.

Don't discuss too much the button that shall not be named.

Be careful whose Random Thoughts thread you read, but be patient with those who are drunk on it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the toothpaste.

End of thread.